I have counseled many couples where the husband refused to open up and talk to his wife. Over the years, I’ve encountered a number of reasons why this kind of situation arises in a marriage. Some men have unhealed wounds in their past. These hurts cause them to be emotionally guarded and withdrawn. At other times, a wife with a sharp tongue keeps a husband from being vulnerable. He’s afraid she’ll use what he says as a weapon against him.... Read more

Communication is a vital part of any marriage, and a marriage not marked by open, honest communication is one that will never enjoy more than a shallow intimacy. The reason for this can be found in the differences between men and women when it comes to communication. Most husbands I know are content to give a once-every-two-or-three-days overview on how they are doing. Most wives want a detailed conversation about what is going on in their husband’s life and mind... Read more

I grew up in a family that was not very affectionate. My older brothers and I fought all the time. When I got married, one of my weakest skills was related to affection. Women need non-sexual affection, and I was not prepared to provide it. For the first eight years of my relationship with Karen, I seldom held her or touched her for any length of time without becoming rough or sexual. Even when we held hands, I was rough.... Read more

One of the statistics that has always amazed me is that half of all couples filing for divorce list financial problems as the leading cause of their marriage trouble. From my own experience as a pastor and marriage counselor, I’ve seen marriage after marriage fail because financial pressures and difficulties turned into more than a husband and wife could handle. Money has a powerful influence on your marriage, and that’s why it’s important for both husbands and wives to treat... Read more

There are multiple factors behind broken marriages, but many of them are the result of a distracted husband—a man who constantly gives his attention to his work or recreation rather than his family. Some men do this because they are greedy or are driven by a childhood need to perform, as we discussed in a previous Marriage Builder. But other men may be motivated by additional causes. For instance, perverted work-related values often lead to distracted men. I once counseled... Read more

I’ve counseled many couples who are suffering due to a distracted husband. His attention is dominated by his job, a hobby, recreation, or entertainment—and this leads to frustration in his wife and a contentious marriage. A marriage marked by distraction will never be healthy. For a husband to turn his heart back toward home, he must first deal with the root issues of his distraction. One of these is performance motivation. As children, many men learn from their parents that... Read more

After 18 years of marriage and having counseled thousands of women, I can tell you emphatically that women are all basically the same. There may be a few external or internal differences here and there, but the primary equipment is the same. Some men keep trading in wives like automobiles, hoping each time to get a newer or better model—one that performs 100 percent of the time and never needs any maintenance. Such a man is headed for disappointment. Most... Read more

Shortly before my daughter’s sixteenth birthday, we began looking for her first car. Like every teenager, she was mesmerized by the thought of independence and mobility. She was excited. We made nightly rounds to every car lot in the city, but it didn’t take long for us to realize she was looking for one thing, and one thing only: style. She would see a car that struck her fancy and say, “Oh, I really like that one!” I would look... Read more