Have you ever talked to someone who wouldn’t look you in the eye? Have you ever tried to carry on a conversation with someone who was clearly distracted? It’s frustrating. Their body language makes it clear they don’t care about you. When the uncaring person is a stranger—someone you’ve just met, like checker at the grocery store—then uncaring communication is only a minor annoyance. But what if the lack of caring comes from your spouse? That’s when it becomes painful.... Read more

One day, on television, I watched the famous comedian Jonathan Winters speak openly about his abusive childhood. He recalled how his father had beaten him severely, in addition to other forms of abuse. Then Winters said something I’ll never forget. He told the interviewer he would gladly take a physical beating over a verbal one anytime. The scars of verbal abuse he suffered from his father were much worse than the physical scars. Words can be powerful. According to the... Read more

One thing I tell Karen all the time is that there is no one in the world I’d rather be with than her. I like her and I enjoy doing things with her. Earlier in our marriage, there were times when we didn’t get along. To be honest, I looked forward to the times I could “get away” from her to pursue my own interests. Those times are gone. We have a better marriage because of it. It’s an unhealthy... Read more

A dream marriage is the kind of marriage where both the husband and wife are concerned about meeting each other’s needs. The man sacrifices to meet his wife’s need for security and meaningful communication. The wife sacrifices to meet his need for honor and respect. Both are generous toward each other. That’s foundational to a healthy, loving relationship. One of the places where this is most necessary is in the bedroom, where many marital conflicts (spoken and unspoken) tend to... Read more

A man’s greatest need is to be honored, especially by his wife. Almost any woman is willing to honor a man who succeeds and is doing well. What separates a mature wife from the rest is how she responds when her husband fails. This is the test of true honor. During a marriage, every husband is bound to do something wrong. He will fail in some capacity. If a wife cannot still honor him at those times, she may have... Read more

“The wise woman builds her house, but with her own hands the foolish one tears hers down” (Prov. 14:1). I’ve been counseling hurting, confused wives for years, and have found emotional motivation to be a major issue in marriages. Because our brains are wired differently, women are far more attuned to emotions and feelings than men are. Normally this is an advantage. It benefits them as mothers, as friends, and even in the workplace. But sometimes the powerful pull that... Read more

No one would have dreamed Brad and Sue had marriage problems. From the outside, their relationship looked perfect. He was outgoing and handsome with a gentle, personable manner. She was fun-loving and family-oriented, faithful to God and Brad. Everyone loved being around them because they were so easy to get along with, but no one noticed their deteriorating marriage. Sue had first been attracted to Brad because of his sweet, gentle nature—but before long it began to irritate her. People... Read more

Have you noticed a trend lately? Maybe it’s less prevalent in the more conservative, traditional parts of our nation. But I’ve heard from a number of women who’ve encountered a troubling tendency for our culture to look down on domestically centered women. As if there’s something unfortunate—or even backward—about the idea of a stay-at-home mom or a full-time homemaker. This is shameful. I’ve said it before and I’ll say it again: a woman who is a good homemaker and mother... Read more

“Wives, submit to your husbands as to the Lord…” (Eph. 5:22). Does that verse make you squirm? As I have spoken to women’s groups over the years on the subject of a woman’s role in marriage, I often have sensed a feeling of caution in the audience when the topic of submission comes up. It is definitely a touchy subject, and many women have been hurt by men wielding their God-given authority without the sacrificial love of Christ. With that... Read more