Relationships are the products of words. Good relationships and good marriages are the result of many good words. You fall in love because you say good things to each other. You’re careful, patient, and think before you speak. At the same time, bad marriages happen when relationships are filled with negative words. Words are used carelessly and thoughtlessly. Words are used as weapons. God created the universe by speaking it into being, and the words we speak or don’t... Read more
I’ve seen many marriages fail when a husband or wife (and sometimes both) begin thinking that sin will enhance sex or revive a stalled sex life. A major one of these sins, of course, is pornography. A man need not leave his home these days to be confronted with erotic images from TV, magazines, movies and, of course, the Internet. Make no mistake: Pornographic images are flaming missiles of deception. They are Satan’s special weapon to destroy marriage. I call... Read more
Every family will have different priorities. Some they’ll have in common with their friends and neighbors. Others will have unique priorities, and that’s OK. Just because we don’t totally conform with other people doesn’t mean we’re wrong. It just means we’re different. But there are three priorities I believe are essential, universal, and unchanging: God, family, and church. I’ve shared this on many occasions in a variety of settings, and sometimes people mention to me that they’re surprised I separate... Read more
Right now you are reading a short devotional about marriage. Maybe it arrived in your in-box. Maybe you found it on our website or saw a post on Facebook. Maybe someone tweeted the link and you clicked it. Regardless of where you are reading or how you got here, I know one thing to be true: Your time is precious. Most people won’t start reading marriage advice because they are just plain overwhelmed by the amount of free time they... Read more
When Karen and I first married, we had problems. Our relationship was a constant struggle because each of us were expecting the other to provide things that only God could provide. For instance, we both expected each other to give beyond our ability. When our generosity toward each other ran dry, we became unfulfilled, disappointed, and even angry. We fought, all the time. The beginning of God’s healing in marriage came when both of us realized that only Jesus was... Read more
My great-grandfather was a wise, tough, hard-working Indiana farmer who was married for almost seventy years and together with my great-grandmother, raised nine children. He had a gift for boiling life’s challenges down to simple, memorable maxims. He once summed up the challenges of raising kids by saying, “Kids…When they’re little, they step on your toes. When they get bigger, they step on your heart.” That quote has relevance to marriage as well. In marriage, there will be times when... Read more
I have a distant relative who loves his church, loves his children, and seems very sincere in his faith and his convictions, but he’s had two divorces in the past five years. He had always been a faithful husband and a hard-working provider, so he seemed genuinely shocked when two consecutive marriages dissolved, because both women wanted a separation. Both divorces left him reeling and asking questions that seemed to have no clear answers. It’s not my place to judge... Read more
I make my living speaking words, and that’s a responsibility I don’t take lightly. The Bible says life and death are in the power of the tongue (Proverbs 18:21). Words have great power. My words have helped heal marriages. But there was also a day when my words wounded people like my wife, Karen. That gives me an immense appreciation for words. Galatians 6:7-8 says, Do not be deceived, God is not mocked; for whatever a man sows, that he... Read more
We don’t always talk about it in church or among our friends, but sexual problems are one of the main causes of tension between married couples. I’ve counseled many couples who marry with great sexual energy and attraction only to end up fighting—or even divorcing—because of sexual problems. Unresolved anger is one of the main causes of sexual tension. Anger is inevitable in every marriage. There is simply no way two people can live together without getting upset at each... Read more
When Karen and I married, I was obsessed with two things: golf and work. They consumed most of my physical and emotional energy. At the end of my workday or after a game of golf, I had little time or energy left for Karen, for our children, or for God. The result was a family life that was miserable and tense. I would insist that I loved God, Karen, and our kids before all else, but I’d been growing distant... Read more
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