After sex, my husband feels physically drained and fatigued…

After my husband and I are intimate, my husband feels physically drained and fatigued and sometimes has symptoms similar to the flu. This continues for at least a day and sometimes two days, but it always occurs. I don’t know if this is a normal reaction for men after sex. Physically there seems to be nothing noticeably wrong and he has seen a doctor but was too shy to ask about sex. What do you think? Is it normal? Is it something I do? Any information or help would be sweet! Thanks.

It is normal for men (and women) to experience sleepiness or fatigue after sex (especially after orgasm). However, for the symptoms to be as severe and as long-lasting as you seem to be describing does not sound particularly “normal.” I highly doubt this response has to do with anything you are doing. There are more than likely two possible causes: physical and psychological – and it may be a combination of the two.

The only STD I am aware of that can cause ongoing flu-like symptoms is HIV. Even then, the symptoms would be experienced on an ongoing basis – not just after sex. Neither STDs nor even a viral infection itself (including the flu or common cold) would cause symptoms this quickly. They require at least 2 days before symptoms start exhibiting. There are hormones that kick in after orgasm that induce sleep (see article below). If your husband has an overabundance of this particular hormone, that could be causing a problem.

The more likely explanation is that the symptoms are tied to an emotional/anxiety reaction to the event of having sex in the first place. This would be best treated through education and therapy.

I would encourage your husband to ask his doctor about this problem and rule out any physical issues. I know it can seem embarrassing to discuss such personal topics with a professional. However, it is important for you and your husband to remember that you are the customer in this relationship and that you have the right to get your questions answered. Doctors are used to being asked all kinds of questions on diverse issues – sexual matters definitely included. If your husband refuses to ask, ask your primary care physician yourself.

Why do guys get sleepy after sex?