Its me again! Wife who gets frustrated by other wives denying sex from their husbands. I just wanted to share with you that I was recently in a group of women and the topic of sex came up. These women were making negative comments and obviously thought that sex was a thing of the world or that it was for men only. I am so proud of myself. I listened non-judgementally. Yes, me! I was able to share my thoughts... Read more
That’s a great post. Your reference to the “falling process” is an important reminder to parents of why we and our children are here on earth. Thank you! I so appreciate your positive feedback. Read more
My wife and I had always considered masturbation without the other spouse present something that was not approved of by the Church and therefore wrong. We had not really discussed it, but always thought that it was wrong. It was not until we heard others’ views and discovered how prevalent the practice of masturbation in marriage is that we explored the issue more. We discussed why we didn’t participate in the practice and realized it was mostly because we’d been... Read more
While I realize that neither the Church nor anything in the gospel advocates celibacy or prohibits sexual relations between husband and wife, are there situations where celibacy might be appropriate? The Church does teach that we should control our thoughts and that our spirit should be stronger than bodily appetites. The ideal, I think, is for both husband and wife to be willing and even eager to meet the sexual needs of his/her spouse. Hopefully that happens in many and... Read more
My wife and I have never had much physical “chemistry”. We married more because we liked being with each other and because we admired each other. Now she believes I don’t find her attractive and is no longer interested in intimacy (and says she never has been). Nothing I do or say changes her mind. How can I get this sinking ship to float again? It sounds like you and your wife have a wonderful foundation based on friendship. This... Read more
I am suffering from several sexual disorders resulting from early past experiences (purely psychological, not physical)–primarily situational arousal/anorgasmia disorder. I’ve been doing a lot of research and think I understand all the why’s of what I am experiencing, but the suggested treatments I find often go against my religious values and actually encourage the exact situations and behaviors that are the root of the problem. I am desperate to change the associations in my brain and be able to have... Read more
I posted earlier about my frustration with other women denying their husbands sex. I have since worked through more of my issue. Thanks for posting this. I appreciate what is written. I agree with this writer that the most frustrating part is a spouse that is apathetic to the other spouse about sexual needs. (Fortunately, my husband meets my needs).I find it frustrating that many husbands are expected to accept a wives response that she is no longer interested in... Read more
It probably isn’t uncommon to associate love and sex- after all, we believe in abstaining from sexual activities until marriage, and we believe that sex is intended as an expression of love and means to strengthen a couples’ bond. But is it dangerous to equate love and sex? I think that I (and possibly others) do this too often, so I end up feeling loved almost exclusively when I view our sexual relationship favorably. Since this is more often not the... Read more
While I don’t dispute that many wives (and/or husbands) have experienced serious issues that make intimacy within marriage a challenge, from my admittedly limited observations, reading, etc., I believe that perhaps a larger issue is apathy and disinterest toward this important part of marriage. In a way, although I don’t want to minimize the trauma that some have experienced, I believe that a more specific, difficult event is more “treatable” or more easily dealt with- it should at least be... Read more
I just came across this site- thank you! It seems to be just what I’ve needed as I live in an area without access to LDS Social Services and I recognize how an understanding of gospel doctrine is essential to addressing marital issues of LDS couples. My issue is this- I have been married for three years now and have a two year old boy and two month old colicky girl! Around the time I got pregnant with our second... Read more
The Mormon Therapist
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