About education, it becomes tricky in cases (that seem all too common) where there is an imbalance in the relationship regarding the desire for intimacy. For example, although I am sure there is much that I can still learn, I have studied and thought about sexuality for years, so I don’t feel it is education that is lacking for me. Intimacy isn’t important to my wife, so it feels as though there is little I can do to progress in... Read more

Regarding recovering from affairs, I also like Shirley Glass’s Not “Just Friends.” It also has some helpful stuff on prevention.  Adam Fisher, M.A. Thank you for the useful information! Read more

What about husbands who try to communicate this and have been threatened with divorce? I read of a man who stays in the marriage for his kids, but lives in a nightmare with his wife. (Sir John on StrengtheningMarriage.com/blog. Help for stranded husbands). He loves her of course. But from what I read, I wonder if it is healthy?It seems that from what he writes, his marriage is all give and he is never allowed to take. People threaten divorce... Read more

Not that his choice was your fault…but i wonder if you withdrew sex from him, which made him go in that direction.  I would caution against the notion of holding a person accountable for their spouse’s behavior.  Yes, couples are behaviorally intertwined (meaning that one’s behaviors/attitudes affect the other) and this couple may have been struggling in the area of their sexuality (which on a side note could be easily correlated to the many physical and emotional challenges of having... Read more

I’m a bit curious by something. The original poster talked about using physical exercise (kickboxing) to dissipate her sexual tension. In your response, you affirmed exercise as a method for keeping our sexual urges in check. But I’ve heard from other professional resources that regular exercise and becoming physically fit is a good way to restore flagging libido; that both the chemicals released by the body during exercise, and the improved self worth which results from being physically fit, can... Read more

How sad that so many women don’t know how to enjoy sex and their sexuality. Yes, I agree.  Women have had a history of being sexually repressed (and repressed in general) from the beginning of documented time.  Different cultures have dealt with sexuality in diverse ways, but in general it has had underlying negative tones (many times for religious reasons).  It’s only been in the past say 50 years that we are beginning to overcome negative sexual perceptions/myths. And we... Read more

I am out of the country for this coming week, and will not be posting as regularly.   Read more

I recently (on Monday) discovered that my husband has been enrolling in adult friend network sights. Specifically desinged for dating. I confronted him about this and he admitted to me that he has had Internet sex with 3 different women, but has never actually met anyone in person. He explained to me that since I have been on anti depressents he is trying to lessen his desire for physical intimacy so he doesn’t bug me too much for physical intimacy. ... Read more