Mostly Muslim
Syeda Saira Ijaz
How long have you been adopting? How many children have you adopted?
My husband and I adopted our baby girl two years ago. She is our first adopted child. We have two older biological sons.
What made you want to become an adoptive parent?
Back in 2005 there was a huge earthquake in Pakistan which made thousands of children orphans with nowhere to go. We heard some horror stories of mistreatment of these children. At that moment, I wished every household in Pakistan could adopt one child and give them a safe haven. I told my husband then that whenever Allah makes it right for us, we will at least adopt one child.
What has your experience been like as a Muslim adoptive parent?
As a Muslim adoptive parent, I would say that one should educate oneself on the fiqh and rulings of adoption in Islam. You will be asked a lot of questions in the community and you need to be ready for it. Other than that, I don’t think it’s much different than any adoption.
I think doing an international adoption, especially traveling to another country with my younger boy with me and the older one still back in U.S., was my biggest challenge. I had to stay in Pakistan for three months clearing various paperwork. That took a lot from me. I wanted to settle down in my home with my girl and reunite my family. Plus, I was missing my eldest a lot and he was missing me too.
The love that you feel for your adopted child is the biggest reward. You don’t expect it but it catches you off guard. Also, when you see your family accept that child as your own, it fills your heart with joy.
What were the reactions you received from the Muslim community when you decided to adopt?
Alhamdulillah the reaction was very positive. We are very open about our adoption and it’s not considered a taboo in any way in our household. People do have a lot of questions and are very curious about the whole process. But since we are very open about it, Alhamdulillah we have been able to guide many couples in the adoption process. That in itself has been very rewarding as well.
What are some misconceptions that you have noticed the Muslim community has about fostering and adopting?
As far as Adoption is concerned, the biggest misconception is whether it’s legal Islamically or not. But that misconception can be cleared easily. Another thing that is common in the older generation is to question whether the child was born out of wedlock or not, to which we answer, “We will never know nor do we care, as all children are born innocent.”
With fostering, Muslims hesitate in the idea of fostering a non-Muslim kid. They think the only reason for training is to foster refugee kids. It’s hard to make them understand the whole procedure.
What is your message to the Muslim community regarding this topic?
Our aim is to make adoption mainstream in the Muslim community, especially in West where Alhamdulillah Muslims have a lot of resources. We also hope to clear all the misconceptions about adoption by teaching people that in reality, adoption is a Prophetic act. Last year we helped in a talk by Sheikh Omar Suleiman about adoption. It was well received by the community.
There is still a lot of hesitation with this topic but inshaAllah, we hope that with more couples adopting this will slowly go away.
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