“My Dear Child…” | Heartfelt Letters from Muslim Adoptive Parents

Written by Najia Kurdi

My beautiful son,

We plan, yet it is Allah that plans most beautifully and perfectly. I will never forget the moment that your father called me out of the blue to ask me what I thought about adopting you. I was driving down the highway, never expecting when I answered the phone that Allah had a tiny miracle waiting to join our family. I had no idea that in ten short days, my six-month-old son would have a new little brother that would become his built-in best friend. I could not have imagined the intense love I would have for you from the moment they told me that you would be ours.

I remember so clearly the way my breath caught and my heart seemed to stop, when the social worker told me that your birth mother had chosen us. It was miracle upon miracle as we went from no thought of adopting to finding out about you and going through an expedited process that would allow us to bring you home in only ten days. From having no idea where we would get the funds to having every penny provided for us from places and people we never expected. Again and again, you helped teach us to trust in Allah and His plan. I remember the moment when I pulled up to your foster home and saw your foster mom holding you on the porch. You were so incredibly tiny, so vulnerable, so perfect. I remember clearly how hard my heart was beating as I held you close and nursed you that first time in your foster home. Your tiny little hand clutched my finger and your sweet brown eyes looked at me, and I truly thought my heart would explode with love.

Everything happened so quickly with your adoption and before I knew it, the day came when we would take you home. I was so excited and happy, yet I also understood that our joy was mixed with your grief — for as we gained a son, you had lost your birth mother. I have learned so much along this journey of being your mother and, my son, I know that I can never take her place. I know that you love me but that you also desperately love her, even though you don’t remember her. I know that there is a longing to know her, to love her, a need that is intrinsically connected to your ability to know and love yourself. I have promised to never lie to you about your roots and to never ask you to deny them. I will always support your need to know and understand. My son, I see your hurt at times as you try to navigate the abandonment you feel and the frustration and longing you don’t fully understand. My heart breaks when I see you wrestle with that pain, but know that I am here, full of love and proud of you. I don’t need you to hide your pain or your love for a woman you were born loving. I love that you love her, and I know that you love me.

I am so proud of you, my son. You are a joy and a light in my life and in our family. I cannot imagine our life without your energy and laughter. I am so grateful to Allah for His gift to us. He created you to take your place in our family, and I am so grateful that He chose me to be your mother. Thirteen years have passed since I held you as a tiny newborn for the first time. Thirteen beautiful years filled with your love, your wit, and your dynamic personality. Years of incredible memories and love that I will always treasure. I believe with all my heart that Allah has blessed our home because of your presence. My hope for you is that you will always know how much you are wanted and loved. My hope for you is that you will understand how perfectly Allah cared for you and continues to do just that. My beautiful son, I love you more than words could ever describe. I am proud of the young man you are becoming, and I am forever grateful to be your mother.

Love,
Mom