I think, today at least, that the three most frustrating words in Autism Land for a mom must be – “I don’t know.” Driving home today with Lil D after I picked him up from school (after the day he had, a bus ride home was out of the question), I called my husband and was telling him about the awfulness that had been escalating for the past five days. There were things happening similar to the horrible self-injurious behaviors, potty... Read more
After all the kids came home from school yesterday, after we got through the first hour of craziness – unpacking backpacks, assessing homework, the requisite post-bus ride-avoidance-of-meltdown shower for Lil D and hearty snacks for all – I settled Amal into her homework and Hamza with a monster truck video on Netflix and headed upstairs. Lil D was lying on his bedroom floor, which is how I usually find him these days. When I say that he is planked about... Read more
Amongst the many, many prayers I say in my daily salat and scatter throughout the day, today’s important prayer is for the bus – Lil D’s bus ride. He is riding the bus home today, for the first time in nearly six months. And I am, for the lack of a better adjective, anxious. Lil D has been a bus rider for most years of his school life – from when he first started going to [an autism] school fulltime... Read more
“Two roads diverged in a woods, and I, I took the one less traveled by, And that has made all the difference.” – Robert Frost After doing this mothering stuff (and this autism mothering stuff) for this long, I’ve come to appreciate words – spoken words, written words, and most of all, communicative words. When Amal was born, my husband and I prayed for her to talk so much that it would drive us crazy. (God answered that prayer in... Read more
What is this? What IS THIS? I am no longer desensitized, offering up moments of reflection on the physical violence and death and hateful rhetoric in Syria, Libya, Cairo, Pakistan or even here in the United States via platforms like Facebook and blogs – and then moving on with my life. This is how I’ve always approached the troubles of the world as a journalist/editor. Write, or find good people to write about what’s happening, what’s wrong, what’s right, what... Read more
It has always been a pet peeve and a weakness, of mine that when things are especially tough for my kids (and consequently for me), one of the ways some try to provide comfort is by reminding me of all the difficulties others are dealing with around us, and reminding me of all we have to be thankful for. It’s the “there are others who are way worse off than you” method of comfort. I am coming off bad by... Read more
My husband asked me last night what if I was going to write something about the 11th “anniversary” of the tragedy of 9/11. I thought, what is there to say that hasn’t already been said before? Where are we now as a world community, 11 years after that awful, fateful day? Where am I and my family in our lives now? On September 11, 2001, Lil D had just passed his one-year birthday. He was my only child at that... Read more
We’re having Sunday morning conversation at our house, as my three kiddos (for once) sit together calmly at the dinner table with me and eat their breakfast. Lil D, who is hungry because we all slept in a little (though he awoke bright and early like he always does), is sitting down nicely and eating – no trying to run around and come back for bites, none of the recent rigmarole of me trying to make him sit down and... Read more
Between discussions with my daughter about who are her new classmates or if the zippered binder I bought for her is the right one, and discussions with my youngest about how his first day of school was and how he needs to make sure to eat his lunch, we also have these discussions: How the kids need to listen to Mamma, and what they should do when Bhai (Lil D) has a meltdown. The other day, when all heck broke... Read more
When the chips are down or when the chips are up (heck, pretty much any occasion that we can think of), we make biryani. Either to celebrate, or commiserate, or just because. I made biryani for Lil D last night. Just for him and me. Because I didn’t know what else to do to celebrate our time together. This past weekend our family, minus Lil D, traveled to Detroit for my niece’s Ameen (a culturally-based religious ceremony that celebrates when... Read more
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