daughters & chemically induced comas

so my 14 year old daughter comes home from school to tell my poor unsuspecting wife and i that the visiting sex-education teacher needed a volunteer, but since no one did, she picked my daughter casile for her lesson. she told her to put this condom on her arm. i’m like, WHAT!? ya, i tried a condom on over my arm! what the heck for? what’s the point of that? well, she wanted to prove to us girls that a guy can never use the excuse that he’s too big for the condom. oh! now i’m supposed to feel better? outside i’m acting like the understanding adult, interested in the sexual development of my beautiful young daughter in front of me, when inside i’m totally freaking out, screaming and crying and lashing out to god that this shouldn’t be happening! later that evening we had to talk more about boys, drugs and alcohol, blah, blah, blah, plus deal with our 17 year old teenage son’s rants,… and it’s not like you’re talking to children, but to lawyers-in-training. MAN! they can argue intelligently. and if it isn’t intelligent, the intensity of their emotions makes you believe it’s maybe intelligent. by the time i went to bed, i was wishing someone would come along and put me into a medically-induced coma. they can wake me up when my baby girl is married.