Sex Upon Demand With Porn-Addicted Husband?

Sex Upon Demand With Porn-Addicted Husband? December 1, 2018

Several days ago when I was putting together the post with multiple bad ideas by Lori Alexander on the subject of housework. I should have waited because the second I hit “post” here was Lori with an even more repulsive piece of advice. Lori is quoting her mystery fan Joy Filled Wife yet again. It’s pretty awful advice. You should provide sex upon demand with porn addict husband.

I guess no one in Evangelical Quiverfull realizes that boundaries are a  real thing, that it is no sin to have them, and there will be times and struggles in marriage that do not always lead to sexy time.

If there was ever a point where a wife might turn down sex with her husband it seems to me that it might be upon hearing that he has cheated, or engaged in porn. Color me crazy, but the first reaction should likely not be hop into bed. You need time and space to process  a betrayal on such a deep basic level. Seems rather mentally deranged to react this way. No sex until you’ve thought about how you feel,  how this impacts you, deciding if you can continue the marriage isn’t a bad thing. Boundaries, people, boundaries.

“Being Jesus to him” – Look, there’s no being Jesus in choosing to immediately ignore what your spouse has done. Even Jesus himself took himself away to pray and think a number of times in the Bible. Jesus wept, these people!

Ever notice that on all these beach walks Lori and Ken do that the context of all her conversations is Lori running down other women? She’s either ranting about hussies in g-strings tempting Ken with their rear ends hanging out, or this, ranting about women letting themselves go. She’s not concerned with the state of her own soul or mind. She doesn’t seem to engage Ken in conversations on current events, or their shared history. It seems to be all women-bashing.

My husband and I walk on the beach four times a week. Never have I ever started talking smack about the bodies of other women. It’s usually some problem we’ve trying to overcome like round or square hot tub choice, or something that needs to happen like getting the car to the mechanic. Water heater installation or solar paneled heater, or on demand heater. It’s life.

Translation of Lori-speak of the ‘letting themselves go’. That means ‘Fat’, or whatever Lori considers fat. Guessing that would be any woman that did not conform to her own unhealthy-looking standard. Gain a food baby stomach from eating a grape and have Lori accuse you of letting yourself go.

But everyone’s standards are different. I have seen ladies commenting on Lori’s recent appearance in her YouTube videos. Saying that she’s too gaunt-looking, or that cheap home hair dye job does her no favors. That she’s messy and unkempt looking. That she needs to gain twenty pounds and use makeup.

I haven’t bothered to watch Lori’s recent videos so I cannot speak to her attractiveness, or lack of. That is strictly between Lori and Ken. It should really only be with Lori. She never gets that women are allowed to be whatever way they want in terms of dress and everything about their own physical appearance.

If you want to take a gander yourself at what Lori considers attractive to Ken she uploaded a new video about women and divorce.

Here’s the thing. Women who try to tear apart other women based on outward appearance aren’t exactly nice, or Godly. Our culture sets us up to endlessly judge others, and it’s counter productive. It is a unity-killer.  Imagine how much better this world would be if women stopped judging what other women look like and concentrated on themselves.

It’s not at all how Godly older women teaching younger women should act.


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NLQ Recommended Reading …

Quiverfull: Inside the Christian Patriarchy Movement by Kathryn Joyce

I Fired God by Jcoelyn Zichtermann

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About Suzanne Titkemeyer
Suzanne Titkemeyer went from a childhood in Louisiana to a life lived in the shadow of Washington D.C. For many years she worked in the field of social work, from national licensure to working hands on in a children's residential treatment center. Suzanne has been involved with helping the plights of women and children' in religious bondage. She is a ordained Stephen's Minister with many years of counseling experience. Now she's retired to be a full time beach bum in Tamarindo, Costa Rica with the monkeys and iguanas. She is also a thalassophile. She also left behind years in a Quiverfull church and loves to chronicle the worst abuses of that particular theology. She has been happily married to her best friend for the last 32 years. You can read more about the author here.

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