If you ask your pregnant wife for sex….

I’m in a silly mood.
So, in the spirit of “If you give a mouse a cookie”, I present.

If you ask your pregnant wife for sex…

She’ll probably realize,

that she has to pee.

So she’ll wan to run to the bathroom real quick.

When she sees herself in the mirror,

she’ll probably want to freshen up,

so you’ll need to help her find the tweezers so she can pluck her eyebrows.

When she’s finished plucking her eyebrows,

she will start to clean the little hairs off the sink.

Trying to clean up the hair will make her realize that the whole sink needs to be cleaned.

So you will have to help her find the right cleaner.

 She will wipe down the sink.

She’ll probably want to scrub the toilet and tub and floors as well.

She may even ask you to help.

When the bathroom is cleaned,

she will want to wash her hands,

and dry them with a towel.

She will probably notice that the hand towel hasn’t been changed in a while,

this will remind her that she hasn’t done laundry in days.

She will probably start to cry.

So you will need to hug her and rub her shoulders while she tells you how exhausted she is and how the laundry is never done and that her favorite shirt doesn’t fit her anymore and her hip hasn’t stopped hurting all day.

When she stops crying, she will probably be hungry.

So you will have to help her dig in the fridge and find the perfect snack of chocolate milk and grapefruit.

After she has eaten her grapefruit and finishes her chocolate milk (and a few green olives) (OK OK, a dozen green olives) she will feel much better.

So much better, that she will probably ask you if you want to have sex.

You’ll happily head off to the bedroom together.

But to get to the bedroom you have to pass the bathroom.

And seeing the bathroom,

 will remind her that…

she has to pee.