I hope you had a wonderful Memorial Day. But I digress.
Shockingly, according to my calculations, roughly 300,000,000 of you have not bought my book The Bible Tells Me So: Why Defending Scripture Has Made Us Unable to Read It.
It’s been out since September.
I’m not sure what the problem is, folks, but for those of you who need a little shove, here you go:
- The book is bright yellow and acts as its own energy source.
- It has a symbol of a … sword and … heart thingy that is calculated to lure you in by confusing you.
- I don’t waste your time (or mine) with footnotes to support my claims.
- It’s loaded with fresh ideas for how to upset your pastor or Bible study leader.
- God told me to write it.
- My friends told me not to.
- I use words like dipwad, sucks, Klingon, Herman Munster, Balrog, moron, and Justin Bieber.
- Neo-Calvinists, in Christian love and to the glory of God, have burned me at the stake in absentia over it.
- Southern Baptists break 4 commandments just thinking about it.
- Jesus himself endorsed the book (but we had to cut his blurb because there wasn’t enough room on the back cover).
Need I go on? No, I didn’t think so.
I’d like to cut that 300,000,000 in half by the end of the month, so thanks in advance.