He Ate My Wedding RIng

#3 chews. Everything. I’ve talked to doctors about it. I’ve talked to child psychologists about it. They say he’ll outgrown it. I say there is a problem here. There are times when I hate to be right.

He ate my wedding ring. Chewed it up. Swallowed a sapphire out of it. He wanted to know how shiny tasted. He was sad to report that it tasted nothing like he expected. It was a disappointment to him. I’m kind of sad to hear that. There’s a twisted part of me that feels that if he’s going to eat my wedding band, it should be the most singularly fulfilling chewing experience of his 6 year old life, and he’s chewed a lot of stuff.

He ate the corners off of the coffee table, and the pleather off of my brand new computer chair. If his t-shirts have pictures, then they will also have holes. I was thrilled to find a Pirates of the Caribbean shirt which was pre-chewed. No one noticed when he added some fraying to the collar. He ate holes in his floaties when he was 3. Swimming around in a friends pool, biting the floats, sinking, unable to stop himself.

He will outgrow it. Children chew things. They chew pencils, and pen lids. They eat paste and paper. Children chew. #3 chews. I don’t think this is “normal”.

He chews on hard things like rocks, jewelry, tree branches, and ball bearings(we found that out when we heard the ‘clank’ of metal hitting porcelain). Soft things like bubble gum do nothing for him. He likes to chew legos.

Is it caused by an allergy? Is it a developmental thing? Is he just a bad kid? These are the questions we ask. At last he has eaten something which has a doctor agreeing that we may be dealing with a problem. Someone in a position to help sees the problem at long last.

He ate my wedding ring. Someone finally listened to us. He ate my wedding ring. Thank God he did.