I’m No Longer Speaking English. I’m Sure Of It.

Today I learned to speak another language.  I’m not sure which one, because I thought I was speaking in my native tongue.  Nobody understood me though, which leads me to believe a miracle has occurred and I’m speaking in tongues instead.  A little Esperanto anyone?

This morning, we had preschool playgroup in the neighborhood.  As I walked across the street with my two youngest boys, I said, “We’re going to the house with the red car in the driveway.”
#5 gave me a puzzled look and replied, “What did you say?”
me: “The house with the red car.  That’s where we’re going.”
#5: “Oh.” pause.  “What?”
me. “See the red car?  That’s the house where playgroup is.”
#5: “I don’t know, Mommy.”
me: sigh “Just hold my hand and follow me.”
#5: “Okay, but can I just hold your hand?”

Seriously.

When we got home after an hour of playtime, I told #3 to get out his math book and a calculator.  (Yay calculator day!)
#3: “My math book and what?”
me: “calculator”
#3: “I don’t have that thing, I think…..” He looked at me as if I were a crazy woman.
me: “A calculator?  Then get my phone.  It has a calculator app.”
#3: “Get your what?”
me: “Phone. It can be a calculator.”
#3: Why would I want your phone?  I don’t need to call anyone.”
me: slowly “It has a calculator on it.  Get my phone.”
#3: “Never mind mom.  I can use #2’s phone.  It has a calculator on it.”

This has been my day. With every child except #6, although he has stared at me dumbly for most of the afternoon so there’s no telling what he’s hearing.

I’m either holier than I thought or I’m slowly losing it.  At least I can still type in English.  I think.  Quick, look at the words and tell me what you see.