The Real Reason Catherine and I Stayed on Marriage Boot Camp

It took me all of thirty seconds in the Boot Camp house to realize I didn’t know what I had gotten myself into. It was almost comical how out of place I was amongst the other seasoned reality TV personalities. As I mentioned in my last post, as distasteful as it sounds, I signed up for this show primarily for the paycheck. But it didn’t take me long to realize the money wasn’t worth it. It wasn’t so much that I couldn’t stand being around the chaos and constant yelling from the other cast members as much as it was my concern for the young people who look to Catherine and me as role models. Catherine and I are both so proud of our testimonies and how we’ve been able to glorify God in all situations.

So it was on the very first day, I told Catherine that I thought this might harm our witness.  I wanted to go home. Catherine, being the amazingly supportive wife that she is, told me that she trusted me to make the right decision for both of us.  After much consideration, we made the decision to leave.

Of course, it wasn’t that easy. The producers had to come speak with us.  Then, Elizabeth Carroll (one of the Boot Camp counselors) came and spoke with us. The producers didn’t do much to sway me, but Elizabeth certainly did. Since it was only the first day, I had no idea who she was as a person and what she stood for. She started the conversation by explaining her passion for reaching people for Jesus and that Marriage Boot Camp was her ministry. She listened to me as I raised my concerns for Catherine and me and the young people who follow us, and she validated those concerns with understanding. But she said something that really stuck with me. Elizabeth said, “sometimes evangelism requires you to get dirty.”

All of my concerns about damaging our credibility and hurting our witness came into perspective after hearing Elizabeth share her heart with us. I’ve always known that it’s not the healthy who need a doctor but those who are sick (spiritual metaphor for ya), but I can lose sight of that at times. Elizabeth brought it back into focus for me. She did warn me that there is a compromise that must be made when making a TV show and that the network did not have the same evangelistic spirit. But, she was willing to put up with that if it meant reaching people for Christ.

She thought I would be able to do the same.

(Of course none of this conversation was aired).

So that’s why we stayed on Marriage Boot Camp. I came for the money and stayed for the people. I tried my best to take Elizabeth’s words to heart. I did, in fact, share Jesus with every single guy on the show. Catherine did the same with the women. I’m happy to say that each one of them was receptive to the message, and I’m hoping that the seeds we helped plant will one day flourish.

I still can’t in good conscience recommend the show to any of our younger followers.  But, I hope those who do watch will notice our attempt at encouraging and supporting the other cast members.

Buy my New York Times Best Selling Book For the Right Reasons: America’s Favorite Bachelor on Faith, Love, Marriage, and Why Nice Guys Finish First to learn more about how Catherine and I met!

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