This Isn’t What I Signed Up For

This Isn’t What I Signed Up For December 8, 2017

how can I change my husbandHave you ever wanted something so badly but when you got it, it didn’t work out the way you’d imagined?

Ever find yourself wondering why your marriage isn’t working out as you’d planned only to discover, sadly, there’ll be no enjoyment without some effort on your part?

When I was 9 years old, I wanted only one thing for Christmas: A Barbie Dream House with three floors of high-styled fun, fancy furniture that filled six really big rooms, and a real working elevator that stopped on every floor. It looked so cool on TV.

On Christmas morning, I bolted to the tree. There it was (epic music) in all its glory: Three floors of high-styled fun, fancy furniture that filled six really big rooms, and a real working elevator that stopped on every floor.

But, I had a problem. The three floors of high-styled fun and its glory were still in the box. I couldn’t launch my Barbie adventure. Furthermore, it was going to take someone some serious effort to put that thing together. I wasn’t prepared for that.

Early in my marriage, I wasn’t prepared for the challenges of living with a person who approached life differently than I did. I thought it was cute when we were dating. Not so cute when you’re married.

Sometimes, I felt like that 9-year-old girl under the Christmas tree. Frustrated because things weren’t shaping according to plan.

When he didn’t make me happy all the time, I had a bad attitude and withheld affection. He was supposed to make me happy. All the time. It was frustrating and disappointing.

I don’t know about you, but I’m still like that 9 year-old girl sometimes. The harder I try to fix my husband, the bigger mess I make.

Many times–I need reminding–I need to stand down and let God handle it. He can do a much better job than I can.

No matter how hard I tried, I couldn’t move Barbie into her Dream House. I worked on that toy all afternoon before taking the box and all the pieces to someone who could help: Dad.

God can take our biggest frustrations and turn them into blessings. That can’t happen unless we trust Him and look to Him for help. He can mend a broken marriage.

When you turn your marriage over to God, He supplies what you need to set your relationship right. He promises to give us the desires of our hearts.

What aspect of your marriage do you need to turn over to God?

Need skills to build intimacy?

  1. Get on the waitlist for my next group coaching session–Change Your Mind; Change Your Marriage.
  2. Visit my website,  like my Facebook page and  join my private Facebook group.
  3. Check out my FREE resources and download  How to Be A Wife No Man Will Ever Want to Leave.
  4. Apply for private coaching with Sheila.

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Also known as the Not So Excellent Wife, Sheila Qualls understands how tiring a tough marriage can be. 

She went from the brink of divorce to having a thriving marriage by translating timeless truths into practical skills. She’s helped women just like you turn their men into the husbands they want.

After 33 years of marriage, she’s a  coach  and a speaker whose passion is to equip women to break relationship-stifling habits and do marriage God’s way. And you don’t have to be a doormat to do it.

She and her husband Kendall live in Minnesota with their five children and their Black Lab, Largo.

In addition to coaching, Sheila is a member of the MOPS Speaker Network.  Her work has been featured on the MOPS Blog, The Upper Room, Grown and Flown, Scary Mommy, Beliefnet, Candidly Christian,, The Mighty and on various other sites on the Internet.

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