The Not So Excellent Wife
When I’d been married almost ten years, I thought I knew it all. At least I thought I knew it all about being a Christian wife. I had almost 10 years experience.
A lot of couples don’t even make it to 10 years. I must be doing something right. I was 30, a real adult.
I had three kids and a house. My kids were happy. My husband seemed satisfied.
What more could I possibly learn about marriage?
Looking back, I now know the answer is a lot.
I realize how little I knew, and how much easier it would’ve been if I’d known then what I know today.
I would’ve been a lot less stressed and much happier. So let me spare you the stress and give you an opportunity to be a happier wife right now.
Here’s what I wish I knew when I was 30:
- Don’t waste time holding on to stuff that won’t matter in five years much less five minutes.
- Accept your husband for who he is and understand you’ll both be a different people in 10 years.
- There’s more than one way to load a dishwasher.
- Your words can only be forgiven not forgotten.
- Your husband needs to know you want him.
- Forgive yourself.
- Learn what respect means to him.
- Swallow your pride and just do it.
- Chick flicks are lies. Entertaining, but lies.
- Set realistic expectations.
- Love your body, and wear lingerie.
- What happens between you and your husband is not your mama’s business.
- You are not your mistakes.
- You don’t have to do it all.
- It’s okay to be just a wife and mom.
- You’re still a good mom if you feed your kids cereal for dinner.
- Let your husband be your hero.
- Be patient.
- Carbs aren’t from the devil.
- Exercise.
- Say “thank you” a lot.
- Forgive your husband quicker.
- Compliment more; complain less.
- Don’t compare your insides to other people’s outsides.
- Marriage isn’t 50-50 ; divorce is.
- You’re going to be wife longer than you’ll be a mom of young children.
- Build your life around your faith.
- Choose happy.
- Don’t be offended so easily. He probably wasn’t aiming for your heart.
- Smile more.
What would you tell yourself if you could turn back time?
Need skills to build intimacy?
- Get on the waitlist for my next group coaching session–Change Your Mind; Change Your Marriage.
- Visit my website, like my Facebook page and join my private Facebook group.
- Check out my FREE resources and download How to Be A Wife No Man Will Ever Want to Leave.
- Apply for private coaching with Sheila.
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Also known as the Not So Excellent Wife, Sheila Qualls understands how tiring a tough marriage can be.
She went from the brink of divorce to having a thriving marriage by translating timeless truths into practical skills. She’s helped women just like you turn their men into the husbands they want.
After 33 years of marriage, she’s a coach and a speaker whose passion is to equip women to break relationship-stifling habits and do marriage God’s way. And you don’t have to be a doormat to do it.
In addition to more than 33 years of marriage, Sheila has a Masters Degree in Communication and countless hours of mentoring and coaching women.
She and her husband Kendall live in Minnesota with their five children and their Black Lab, Largo.
In addition to coaching, Sheila is a member of the MOPS Speaker Network. Her work has been featured on the MOPS Blog, The Upper Room, Grown and Flown, Scary Mommy, Beliefnet, Candidly Christian, Crosswalk.com, The Mighty and on various other sites on the Internet.
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