Why has my husband changed? What happened to my Prince Charming?
When you first fall in love, you see your man as Prince Charming. He’s handsome, funny, has great ideas and he treats you like a princess. Then he changes.
Every wife eventually realizes that underneath that Prince Charming exterior sits a mere mortal, who seems more like a toad.
Why has my husband changed?
The longer you’re married, the more toad-like he becomes. He’s less considerate and more selfish. He’s more interested in playing on the Xbox than in spending time with you.
You start to point out when he leaves his robe on the floor, doesn’t put the toilet seat down or leaves toothpaste in the sink.
The more you complain and criticize, the more toad-like he becomes. The easy thing to do is to try to change him.
He used to be great. Where did Prince Charming go?
It’s easy to criticize and complain. But you hold the key to his charm in your hands. Treat him like a prince and he’ll act like one.
Instead of asking “What happened to him?” and trying to figure out how to change him, here are three ways you may be contributing to his toad-like behavior.
You’re allowing culture to influence your marriage
When you feast on a steady diet of sitcoms, movies and romance novels, your husband won’t seem so appealing anymore. You may start believing the subtle messages the entertainment industry is feeding you.
Most movies and TV shows, portray men as idiots. His wife is smarter than he is. He’s the butt of his kids’ jokes. He’s a buffoon. Watch enough of those shows and pretty soon you start seeing your man that way, too.
Be aware of what you watch. Negative messages can wreak havoc on your marriage and destroy intimacy.
You have unrealistic expectations
Life isn’t a romantic comedy. Your husband isn’t going to instinctively know what you want or need. He’s not always going to know the right thing to say. He’s not going to have six dozen red roses delivered to your house just because.
You won’t have a happy ending to every situation.
If you expect your husband to be a movie version of the perfect man, you’ll be frustrated. Adjust your expectations.
If your husband expected you to come to bed every night in sexy lingerie ready for action, you’d think he’d lost his mind. You might even get mad.
Allow him to make mistakes. Let him know you appreciate what he does to help you or when he does something nice for you. Remember, he’s just an imperfect man who loves you.
You’re not treating him with respect
When you were dating, you probably eagerly laughed at his jokes and listened intently to his ideas. Do you still treat him like he’s funny and smart? Or do you treat him like he annoys you?
When you show your husband respect, he walks a little taller. He’s more confident. You have the power to make him feel like he can conquer the world. You can make him feel like Prince Charming or you can make him feel like a toad.
When you respect your husband, he will want to please you. He will put his guard down and be more emotionally intimate with you.
When you make it your goal to appreciate and build up your husband, you can have a storybook marriage.
Look for the princely attributes in your man everyday, not his faults.
As you treat him with respect, you may discover that your Prince Charming was there all along.
Need skills to build intimacy?
- Learn how to radically change your marriage in Change Your Mind; Change Your Marriage.
- Visit my website, like my Facebook page and join my private Facebook group.
- Check out my FREE resources and download “How to Be A Wife No Man Will Ever Want to Leave” Challenge!
- Apply for private coaching with Sheila.
Also known as the Not So Excellent Wife, Sheila Qualls understands how tiring a tough marriage can be.
She went from the brink of divorce to having a thriving marriage by translating timeless truths into practical skills. She’s helped women just like you turn their men into the husbands they want.
She and her husband Kendall live in Minnesota with their five children and their Black Lab, Largo.
In addition to coaching, Sheila is a member of the MOPS Speaker Network. Her work has been featured on the MOPS Blog, The Upper Room, Grown and Flown, Scary Mommy, Beliefnet, Candidly Christian, Crosswalk.com, The Mighty and on various other sites on the Internet.