The Book I’m Not Writing

Like every other Blogger within spitting distance, I have thought about writing a book.

I suppose we all fall under the same delusional spell: that our writing is so compelling and magical; the world desperately needs to hear our voice; we have a unique perspective; blah, blah, blah. 

So, despite the fact that the publishing industry is presently throwing up inside its mouth, I still had this inner inkling that my particular writing angle was very special, destined one day to make its way to a full-fledged book deal with a big-time publisher. All it would take was persistance and determination.

Ha.

But, you see, there was this little problem getting in the way. 

I didn’t really know what to write about. Especially something that would fill an enitre book.

I have come to realize that this niche I’ve carved out of “faith in the workplace” is, let’s be honest, colossally boring (despite my attempts to liven it up a bit), as compared to, say, Addiction Memoirs. And the search bots are not exactly burning up the internet lines with “faith in the workplace” search links to my site.

I am clearly dealing in a subject that is not destined for mainstream consumption. But, for better or worse, it is what I am living and interested in and is utlimately what I write about. But to turn it into a book concept that hasn’t already been done? Nah.

Then something happened that I thought would change everything. A couple of months ago a book idea suddenly came to me, all at once, like a dove descending from a cloud. In one split second I saw the entire layout for a book concept, from start to finish. Almost like a vision from on high.

The central idea involves the transition of one’s self-perception of their leadership role in workplace settings, moving from self-centered drudgery to a spiritually-purposed vitality. It would incorporate all of the many posts I’ve written plus the content I have been delivering in the speaking engagements with A New Equilibrium. The cornerstone of it all would be a spiritual-leadership framework that offers a diagnostic self-assessment and step-by-step path for transforming one’s spiritual leadership, chock full with real-life examples and practical tips.

There it was, completely mapped out right before me. I even came up with a snappy one-word title.

It would be called:

“Shift”

“Spiritual Strategies for Transforming Leadership”

 Or, as an alternative for the more conservative Christian publishing crowd:

 “Holy Shift!”

“Spiritual Strategies for Transforming Leadership”

But ever since, I just can’t get it mobilized. Every time I sit down to write a book proposal, I go blank, and turn to work on my next blog post instead. Which is much more fun.  

Then I start with all the excuses. It’s going to take so much work, for one. And it will take so long. And I would have to pretty much put to kibosh on all of my blogging, in order to focus exclusively on this one thing. And then there’s the whole submission-to-publishers thing. The needle in the haystack. Blech. Not to mention that there is absolutely no reason in the world why something like this would even sell, which, as everyone knows, is the only real metric for gauging the value of the effort.

As you can see, just as quickly as the Vision came upon me, my enthusiasm for this project went right out of the room.

Perhaps I don’t care about writing a book after all.

Or maybe I am not disciplined enough. But I am so tired of discipline. And there are only so many hours in the day.

Maybe I am not ambitious enough, and I should push harder.

Maybe it’s not meant to be, and the world will be just as well off without my unwritten book.

Maybe I’m happier without it.

Aren’t I?

Photo by nAncY.