Epictetus drops the mic on the famous Stoic “dichotomy of control.”
“The chief task in this life is simply this: to identify and separate matters so that I can clearly say to myself which are externals not under my control, and which have to do with the choices I actually control. Where then do I look for good and evil? Not to uncontrollable externals, but within myself to the choices that are my own.”
This dichotomy of control is just that; being able to ascertain exactly what is under our control vs. what is not. I often think of the example of athletic coaches as I was one. Had you asked me in my earlier 20’s if I thought winning was under my control – “of course it is” would have been my reply. Ah, to be young again.
What I’ve learned, from life, sport, and Stoic practice, is the outcome of winning is actually not under my control. What about untimely injuries of my team’s best players? What if the other team’s goalie has a million to one game and saves fifty shots?
But the process, the behaviors, systems employed, and team culture – that is very much under their control. Interestingly, the phrase “trust the process” is a common one among winners as they know outcomes follow behaviors – and there is laser-like focus and detail on the behaviors. The winning naturally follows.
Understanding the chief task then trusting the process is always a good reminder for me in all things in life. The obstacles and adversity in front of us and our initial internal impressions (perhaps anxiety or anger) may not be in our control. But what we do in response to those conditions and our initial impressions (perhaps anxiety or anger), that is Epictetus is calling our “chief task.” His is also the position that the “true man is revealed in difficult times” if we are “prepared to make use of them”. And though diversity can be quite hard, Stoics like Marcus remind us that “all disturbance comes from within” as the response to the adversity was always in our control. The chief task is focusing our energy here – on exactly what we can control and influence.
Deciding in advance the people we want to be (and for the coach/leader, the team we want to be) and putting those habits and behaviors in front, we can “trust the process”. In sport, and the game of life, we can optimize our headspace (exercise, meditate, etc.). before the big game. We can choose to not come apart on the bench when the ref blows a bunch of calls. We can choose the right habits and focus our energy on the right habits and behaviors. We can put ourselves in the best possible space to be the best version ourselves. Whatever conditions we face and anxieties we may feel, we can choose to focus on what we do control in this very moment. Our choice on how we respond is always ours.
This is the chief task.
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