Use the Seven Deadly Sins to Make Your New Year’s Resolutions!

Use the Seven Deadly Sins to Make Your New Year’s Resolutions! December 31, 2021

“Everything in life that’s any fun, as somebody wisely observed, is either immoral, illegal or fattening.”

English writer P.G. Wodehouse.

It’s that time of the year again. January 1st. The day we habitually designate as our chance for a fresh start. To transform ourselves into the kind of person we’ve always wanted to be.

It’s fascinating how we start prepping for this event months in advance.

For example, let’s say we’ve been tipping the scales upwards all year, but recognize that Thanksgiving and Christmas are just around the corner. In our mind’s eye we can see a couple of traditional feasts in our future, as well as a season filled with colorful sweets and treats.

There’s just no way we’re going to pass up all that good food! Besides, it would be rude for us to thumb our noses at the cooks who went out of their way to help us celebrate these holidays with deliciousness and good cheer.

So, what do we do? We put off dieting until the new year.

In other words, we end up doing precisely what we wanted to do anyway. Which was to feast and enjoy the holidays. And we avert doing what we really didn’t want to do, which was to start starving ourselves through the holidays.

How about this year we skip the traditional New Year’s resolutions like dieting and such? How about this radical suggestion? Making resolutions that involve using the seven deadly sins to get the most out of life in the new year. / Image by Markéta Machová from Pixabay

People make other resolutions through. Some want to stop drinking so much. Others want to stop working so hard. Many focus on establishing better relationships in the coming year.

Either way, we all tend to procrastinate about making changes in our life until the ball in New York drops at midnight. In which case, this gives us a few more months in the current year to eat more, imbibe more, work harder, and sleep even less.

It’s no small wonder then, why people don’t make resolutions or refuse to make them altogether. If New Year’s Resolutions rarely come to fruition why bother?

But if we dare to admit it, we procrastinate for another good reason. Ultimately, we like who we are. We don’t want to change. Simply put, we like our vices.

New Year’s resolutions are based on the seven deadly sins

Did you ever notice how many of the new year’s resolutions we make are based on vices?

Specifically, the seven deadly sins. You’ll find slight variations of the seven deadly sins online, but this list pretty much highlights the “alleged” debaucheries.

  • Vainglory or pride
  • Greed or covetousness
  • Lust, or inordinate or illicit sexual desire
  • Envy
  • Gluttony, or drunkenness
  • Wrath or anger
  • Sloth

These are considered deadly for two reasons: If taken or experienced in mass quantities these vices could stop your heart from beating. The other reason is predominately a religious one. Many believe these vices will kill your soul and prevent you from entering the pearly gates.

Use these sins to make your resolutions!

How about this year we skip the traditional New Year’s resolutions like dieting and such? How about this radical suggestion? To get the most out of life this year use the seven deadly sins as inspiration!

Take the vice pride, for example.  We could all stand to gain from being more prideful and confident about who we are and what we have to contribute to humanity.

Let’s all make a resolution to be greedier; to covet all the goodness and treasures and experiences that life has to offer.

Lust. Now there’s a four-letter word that’s been drilled into our minds to make us feel wicked and dirty. But here’s the deal. When it comes to choosing a soulmate it’s crucial that people are sexually attracted to one another. Making a resolution this year to remain lustful towards your spouse or significant other will ensure that you enjoy each other’s company for years to come.

By all means, you should envy what others have achieved or acquired. If you’re like me, harboring a little jealously helps to. The point is, be resolute in your desire to emulate the individuals you most admire and respect.

Gluttony. A college professor once told me that the world revolves around food. He was right. Fueling our bodies is not only a biological imperative, but it’s helpful in fostering good personal and financial relationships. Obviously, eating in moderation is key, but this year try making a resolution to eat and imbibe with more gusto and gratitude—preferably with friends or family. Eating with this attitude will contribute greatly to your overall wellbeing.

Humility, solemnity, and meekness can be overrated. Good Lord, if religious folk can be angry with what they perceive to be sin, then humanists can be angry with what they perceive to be dreadful byproducts of modern life. You should be pissed about racism and inequality. You should be outraged when the police or justice system oversteps their bounds. And frankly, you should also be furious about the shenanigans going on in Washington D.C., or the politics in your neck of the woods.

Regarding being slothful and lazy . . . I have a few resolutions to recommend. Don’t work so hard. Put down the phone. Forget to set the alarm. Take long walks in the woods. Spend an afternoon reading a good book at the beach. Go on a dopamine starvation diet. It’s a mental diet in which you do absolutely nothing but be bored to purge the mind of it’s incessant chatter.

See you next year!


About Scott R. Stahlecker
Before launching the Stand-up Humanist, Scott Stahlecker was the previous columnist for Thinkadelics here on Patheos. A former minister turned humanist, he parted ways with religion in 1990. His books include the novel Blind Guides and Picking Wings Off Butterflies. When away from his keyboard, he’s apt to be playing music, spending time with family and friends, or waiting for the next shoe to drop. You can read more about the author here.

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