Beyond Perfect

There are people who feel responsible to be beyond perfect.

They believe that everything, and everyone, depends on them. They need to be strong, they need to be wise, they need to be right, no matter what they face. Without them, nothing would work the way it is supposed to work.

They are essential to whatever they do.

The future of organizations, families, other people rests on them being beyond perfect. They have no margin for error, no room to relax. They need to do everything all the time, or things will fall apart.

It can be a terrible burden to need to be beyond perfect. The people who approach life this way feel responsible to protect people from themselves. The people who live this way experience the pressure of constantly being threatened, tested, needed. They live lives filled with stress. It is almost impossible for them to find any rest.

People who feel responsible to be beyond perfect are afraid to disappoint the people who love them. They believe that the worst could happen because of something they do, or fail to do. They live in fear of failing to meet expectations.

I listen to people tell me their stories, explaining how they have concluded they need to be beyond perfect. No matter how the expectations came to be, there is one person they are most concerned with disappointing.

The highest expectations they face come from themselves.

Together, we take a breath and look at their situation. Together we catalogue the expectations they have for themselves. Together we find ways to value what they do well and let go of the need to be beyond perfect all the time.

When do you feel the responsibility to be beyond perfect?

How have you learned not to be perfect?

[Image by Zach Dischner]