Practices From the Inside Out: When We Take a Wrong Turn

Taking a Wrong Turn

Most of us like to know where we are going and how we intend to get there. We feel more comfortable when we have, and understand, a good set of directions.

I know people who do not really trust the guidance they receive from electronic devices. They prefer to see the big picture, the entire map, rather than just one step after another.

We like to think we can avoid making mistakes if only we can see a few turns ahead.

There may be times when it could be helpful for us to see a little further into the future. If we had known earlier, we would have gotten into the far right lane and not missed that exit.

Some of us are more willing than others to recognize when we have taken a wrong turn.

It is easy for us to take a wrong turn, particularly when we have not gone this way for a while. We may be following our memories, or detailed directions from someone else. Sometimes we get distracted by the scenery or a conversation or by trying to follow the signs.

When we are in unfamiliar territory it can be challenging to find our way back to where we want to go.

It is ironic that the sooner we see we have taken a wrong turn, the easier it can be to get back.

Wrong turns get in our way. They can take extra time and frustrate us. Some wrong turns may even shake our confidence we will ever find our way. We may take wrong turns which are dangerous and can put us at risk.

Some wrong turns are more significant than others.

Wrong Turns in Spiritual Life

Some people would appreciate better directions for spiritual life. They feel lost without a map, without even GPS directions. If only they had better guidance, spiritual life would be easier or more productive for them.

People like to know when they need to switch lanes so they do not miss the right exit. It is easy to get distracted until it feels like it is too late.

Some times I wish Siri could give us directions to spiritual life. While many people have described their journeys, there is no map to follow for spiritual life.

Each of us is on our own path relying on our own guidance. There is no clear, easily understood map because spiritual life is a relationship. Spiritual life cannot be measured or structured like a drive on a freeway or a vacation cruise.

We are not trying to get from one point to another. Spiritual life draws us into a journey of exploration and discovery. We may recognize landmarks based on other people’s descriptions but there is no itinerary.

There is no map and there is no schedule. We may wish we were making faster progress or closer to our goals, but each of us is unique. No one can tell us what will happen or how soon we will arrive. We may travel together at times, though we are each on our own journey.

Spiritual life is neither always comfortable nor always reassuring. The challenges we face often teach us the lessons most worth remembering.

Learning How Spiritual Life Works

Spiritual life is much stronger and more resilient than we might think it is. There are not a lot of beliefs or behaviors required before we can qualify for spiritual life. We learn how spiritual life works by living it, exploring ideas we have not considered before. Sometimes the new things we try become wrong turns which teach us powerful lessons.

As we learn we apply the lessons to our next steps.

It is not as if we need to know the lessons in advance. Reading and reflection are powerful tools when we learn to use them well. We may recognize some lessons in advance. Other lessons we need to learn through experience.

Experience can be a challenging teacher. We may, after making a wrong turn, spend time and effort getting back to where we want to be. Wrong turns can put us in difficult and dangerous positions.

We may wish we had never taken that wrong turn, but we will remember its lessons.

Spiritual life teaches us to learn from our wrong turns, not repeat them. We have plenty of other wrong turns to take, and lessons to learn, in the future.

One benefit of spiritual life, compared to driving on a freeway, is our opportunity to reflect. We can take time to sort through our wrong turns and why we took them.

Owning Our Wrong Turns

We often work hard to avoid taking wrong turns. They waste time and embarrass us. It is easy to think we can avoid wrong turns by paying better attention.

I try to avoid wrong turns on the freeway, but am coming to terms with them in spiritual life. Some turns which seem wrong at the time help us make enlightening discoveries.

I struggled to avoid wrong turns in spiritual life for a long time. The expectations people had for me, and I had for myself, did not include wrong turns. I worked hard to make sure everyone knew the turns I took were the correct ones.

Coming to a place where my wrong turns were glaringly obvious opened my eyes to them.

I could no longer pretend, even to myself, all my turns were the correct ones. Amazingly, taking a wrong turn did not appear to be the end of everything. People still talked to me, maybe even a little more willingly.

Yes, I have taken wrong turns.

It has dawned on me that we cannot hide or disguise the wrong turns we take. Denying they happened is not the most helpful way to deal with taking a wrong turn.

When we take a wrong turn we have a new opportunity to learn, to see life in a new way. Spiritual life draws us into our next step, which may or may not be a wrong turn.

Where are we taking our wrong turns this week?

What motivated you to take your last wrong turn?

[Image by Scott.Keelin]

Greg Richardson is a spiritual life mentor and leadership coach in Southern California. He is a recovering attorney and university professor, and a lay Oblate with New Camaldoli Hermitage near Big Sur, California. Greg’s website is StrategicMonk.com, and his email address is StrategicMonk@gmail.com.