Practices From the Inside Out: How Do We Make a Fresh Start?

How Do We Make a Fresh Start?

A lot of people I know look forward to New Year’s each year as a time to make a fresh start. Some of them spend time thinking about how they will resolve to change in the coming year.

People see New Year’s as an opportunity to turn the page and put the past behind them. We plan a great deal of kindness, generosity, healthy nutrition, and exercise next year.

Many of us have excellent intentions at New Year’s. We mean well but it is almost as if we do not understand how to make a fresh start.

It may be the beginning of a new year with a blank calendar, but we feel stuck in the past. How can we free ourselves from what has caught us where we are?

Are there ways we can really make a fresh start this year?

Fresh starts are challenging because we are working with the same person who created the past. It is difficult to leave the past behind because it is comfortable. We grow accustomed to behaving and responding in familiar ways.

We are where we are because of some practical reasons. It is important for us to recognize and appreciate how we built the past when we try to make a fresh start.

The good news of New Year’s is we can remember and reflect on how we arrived here. We can pull things apart and gain understanding of how things work for us.

It is possible, with insight and effort, for us to make a fresh start.

The First Step to Make a Fresh Start is Stopping

When we make a fresh start it is more than just working harder or being better. A fresh start is not merely setting the same goals and making a greater effort.

There is nothing fresh about trying to do what we failed to do last year, or the year before that. That is a continuation, not a start.

I am generally not motivated by people trying to force me to do things, including myself. Are we really trying to make a fresh start, or do we just want to keep doing what we have done before? If we are seeking a different result we need to try a different approach.

Our effort to make a fresh start begins with stopping to understand why.

We need to recognize why we are committed to this change. It is also important for us to appreciate why our past attempts to make it have not taken root.

Our reasons for wanting to make a fresh start and the reasons we have not already done so tell us a great deal. The process of examining our values and vision may show us other areas in which we want to change. We may recognize our deeper, more intimate concerns about change.

It can be helpful to work with someone who listens and asks insightful questions. Working with someone often helps me face my questions more directly.

We pause to examine our deeper motivations and reflect on our reasons why. Rather than just trying, again and again, to overcome an obstacle, we take a closer look.

Our challenge is not that we do not have enough will power or are not disciplined.

The first step to make a fresh start is stopping to understand more deeply.

Do We Need Measurable Goals to Make a Fresh Start?

We can take the next step when we have gotten a better picture of what is motivating us.

Many people will tell us we need to set measurable goals and objectives, steps on our path. I have taken great comfort from having goals which were easy to understand. There may be, though, changes we would like to make which are more difficult to measure.

One of the challenges of measurable goals grows from the fact they are so measurable. People often get focused on following steps and can lose sight of the changes we are seeking.

When someone sets a goal to lose a certain amount of weight in a year, for example, it is powerful. They may become fixated on the number they have chosen. The deeper meaning behind our change can get lost in our rush to meet our measurable goal. It is easy to forget about broader questions of health and caught up in meeting our goal.

I believe it is essential to find tangible ways to practice the changes we are making. It is also essential, though, not to lose sight of the overall changes.

We may get stuck on the measurable goals we have set and ignore other ways we can practice our change. Partway through the year we may realize there are other goals which better reflect what we want to change. As long as we are honest with ourselves, the measurable goals we have set can be flexible.

Can We Make a Fresh Start This Year?

Making a fresh start can be an excellent way to begin a new year.

We begin by clarifying our understanding of what we want to start and why. Our decision to make a fresh start is healthier when it grows from our own values and vision.

If we decide to make a fresh start because someone else is pressuring us it is less likely to be effective.

When we have a clearer understanding of how we would like to change we look at how to practice. We may prefer setting measurable goals and objectives, but it is important to keep our perspective.

Our reasons why we hope to change are more significant than the numbers we set to measure our growth.

When we decide to make a fresh start it is more than choosing to work harder. We are returning to what is basic and essential, what matters most to us.

How will we make a fresh start this weekend?

What practices would we most like to change this year, and why?

[Image by Rennett Stowe]

Greg Richardson is a spiritual life mentor and leadership coach in Southern California. He is a recovering attorney and university professor, and a lay Oblate with New Camaldoli Hermitage near Big Sur, California. Greg’s website is StrategicMonk.com, and his email address is [email protected].