Practices From the Inside Out: Finding the Words We Live By

Understanding the Words We Live By

Our communication relies on a combination of words and stillness.

Sometimes we write words, leaving blank spaces between them. Other times we say words out loud using stillness to mark their endings and beginnings.

We may depend on a variety of alphabets, symbols, languages, and sounds. It is all words and stillness.

We may feel overwhelmed by words and desperately hungry for stillness. At other times we might be overwhelmed by stillness and starving for words.

I write often about listening to sacred stillness. We live in a world where stillness can be challenging to find.

Whenever I write or speak about listening to sacred stillness, I use words.

Even this post is a combination of words and stillness.

We recognize the power of stillness and the power of words. Some words are magic and others we hold sacred. There are fighting words, hard words, angry words, swear words. We appreciate the ways words can comfort or inspire us. Words might also hurt us, stinging or accusing.

We remember the first words a baby says. When we die, someone says words over us.

Even our most intimate, personal thoughts come to us in words.

It is a challenge for us to think of anything or express anything without relying on words.

We call the most important words in our lives, which guide our behavior, the words we live by. It can be a challenge for us to put our own values into words.

The words we choose to live by help us discern how to live.

What are the words we live by? How do we decide which words to live by and which to ignore? Who helps us choose the words we live by?

Ultimately we choose our words for ourselves.

Choosing the Words We Live By

Each of us has the right, and responsibility, to choose the words we live by.

Our lives are ongoing efforts to investigate and choose our words. They may be words we have heard for longer than we can remember. We might discover a word one day which changes everything for us.

It can be difficult to choose the words we live by. No one else can choose our words for us, even if they try.

People may work hard trying to persuade us their words are important. We do not want to disappoint them.

Some words are filled with emotional or psychological meaning. We may be convinced they are important, lofty words and still not choose them for our own.

Two things help us as we explore whether they are the words we live by.

First, we need to understand as much about words as we can. It can be confusing and challenging to choose the words we live by if we do not know them well.

Words can be nuanced and complex. It may be tricky to choose words if we do not have a strong relationship to them.

The second thing can be even more challenging than understanding tricky words. In addition to seeing words clearly, it helps to know ourselves as well as we know words.

We may have a good deal of knowledge and information about words. Our choices can be excellent words which give us valuable goals. The significance of the words does not mean they are our words.

Our task is not choosing the best words, but choosing the words we live by.

It helps us to have an honest appreciation for words themselves as well as an honest understanding of who we are.

How Do We Explore the Words We Live By?

I do not think we need to spend our days reading dictionaries or obsessing about ourselves. Exploring words and exploring our true selves are not activities we need to do in private.

It can be intimidating to try to learn as much as we can about words and about ourselves.

I work with people every day to discover and explore the spiritual nature of our true selves. Learning about words has given me joy for as long as I can remember.

My friend Brenda Hanley and I decided to help people discover the words we live by. We are hosting a conversation on Twitter which will explore a new word each week. Beginning on Sunday, March 4 at 6:00 PM Pacific Time, and each Sunday after that, we will consider the words we live by.

Please join us as we march forth on Twitter by using the hashtag #WordsToLiveBy.

We intend to learn something new about ourselves and the words we live by each week.

Social Media and the Words We Live By

Some people are skeptical, and becoming more skeptical, about social media. They may see all the ways people abuse their networks by sending out misinformation. It can be frustrating when what we post becomes an excuse to argue or criticize.

Part of what Brenda and I hope to accomplish is demonstrating a positive way we can use social media. We hope our conversation will not only explore the words we live by. Our aspiration is to build a way we can talk together about something serious without fighting.

We look forward to many significant talks full of insights, questions, and good humor. Brenda and I have met and become friends through social media. We hope to make more good, meaningful friends by talking about the words we live by on Twitter.

The way we communicate depends on how we combine words and stillness. Each day we put stillness and words together in new ways.

The stillness we experience can be refreshing. It can give us a chance to pause and take a deep breath. Our stillness can convey as much of our message as our words.

The words we live by shape the ways we think and live and dream and act.

How do we choose the words we live by?

When do we take time to consider the words we live by?

[Image by Jeanne Menjoulet]

Greg Richardson is a spiritual life mentor and leadership coach in Southern California. He is a recovering attorney and university professor, and a lay Oblate with New Camaldoli Hermitage near Big Sur, California. Greg’s website is StrategicMonk.com, and his email address is [email protected].