Strategic Monk
Why We Need to Practice Everyday Listening
There are actions we need to take every day, or at least most days.
Most of us get out of bed and make it each day. We get cleaned up, brush our teeth, maybe shave, and get dressed most days. Driving, eating, and turning on a computer are actions most of us take almost every day.
Many of us have a daily caffeine habit. Some of us take certain vitamins each morning.
I know people who try to get some form of physical exercise every day. There are people who make a point of finding something which moves them to laughter each day.
Some people try to write something each day, or find something which gets them thinking.
We may also have things we do before we go to bed each night.
Some of these ways of behaving come to us naturally while others we need to practice. We choose habits we would like to build and set out to incorporate them into our daily lives.
There may be ways of acting we want to develop or examples of other people we hope to follow. We may exercise our minds or our bodies, or try to develop our strength of will.
One of the most challenging and beneficial practices I choose to follow is everyday listening.
Whether we call it mindfulness or contemplation, meditation or prayer, everyday listening is a spiritual practice.
Our practice of everyday listening is not complicated. Practitioners do not need special equipment, though rocking chairs seem to help.
Everyday listening helps shape our intentions and expectations. It alters our internal dialog and the ways we relate to other people.
In my experience, I need to practice everyday listening every day.
How We Practice Everyday Listening
We may begin our practice at any time of the day or night. There are no rules that we must start on a particular day or during a specific month.
The best day to begin a practice of everyday listening is today. The best time is now.
We prepare for everyday listening by making some choices. Most of us want to choose a convenient time and place to practice. It is helpful if we are not likely to be interrupted. There may be a time of day which is best for us.
You probably want to choose a period of time to spend listening each day. I would choose a length of time which will be comfortable, but not overly comfortable. We want our practice to stretch us and help us grow.
We want to be comfortable as we listen. A good, supportive chair can help us listen better. I find rocking chairs especially conducive for everyday listening. You can find and choose what works well for you.
My everyday listening is more effective when I am not overly focused. Sometimes it helps me to close my eyes, or to look at something which is just out of focus. That is one reason why looking across the ocean or into a woods draws us into everyday listening.
Once we are situated well, we begin our practice with our breathing. We want to be calm and relaxed, breathing deeply and easily. We may be rocking in the same rhythm as we are breathing. The fresh air in our lungs helps us become better listeners.
It is not important, as we begin, that we are able to hear any specific sounds or voices. The sacred stillness to which we are listening is within us.
Do We Need to Practice Everyday Listening Every Day?
Everyday listening is something I need to practice every day. I am not one of those people for whom listening seems to come naturally.
Yes, my practice has helped shape me from within. I am a better listener, and am still becoming a good one.
Each of us has a great deal to learn and experience about listening. Every day is a new opportunity for us to explore listening in new depth and to discover more.
It can be easy for us to see the challenges more clearly than how listening is changing us. We live in ways which make listening unusual. Many of us may not remember the last time anyone listened to us. We may not be able to recall the last time we just sat and listened.
It is easy for us to get extremely focused on whatever one thing is directly in front of us.
Everyday listening opens us to ourselves, other people, and the sacred stillness around us. Listening is an essential skill when we live in a world filled with distractions.
How Will Everyday Listening Help Us?
The practice of everyday listening helps us become better listeners.
We listen to ourselves more effectively. Rather than falling asleep to ourselves, listening helps us wake up to who we are. As we listen we begin to recognize the conditions and expectations which hold us back. We work to set them aside and take the next step in becoming more truly ourselves.
As we practice everyday listening we begin to listen to other people in new ways. We strengthen our abilities to pay attention and listen to what is happening beneath the surface.
Our listening becomes more insightful and understanding. We may become able to hear what people do not say as well as what they do. People will recognize we are listening to them more deeply.
Practicing everyday listening also changes the way we listen to stillness. We take time to listen to the sacred rhythms and truths in the stillness all around us. It is possible for us to start to recognize the sacred stillness within us.
Everyday listening to sacred stillness will slowly transform us from the inside out. It is not painful or complicated. We sit listening and the transformation happens within us.
When will we practice everyday listening today?
How will everyday listening change the way we listen this week?
[Image by Kathleen Tyler Conklin ]
Greg Richardson is a spiritual life mentor and leadership coach in Southern California. He is a recovering attorney and university professor, and a lay Oblate with New Camaldoli Hermitage near Big Sur, California. Greg’s website is StrategicMonk.com, and his email address is [email protected].
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