Lent Reflection: Letting Go of Fear

For me, this Lent is about changing the way I understand and relate to fear.

The first step on this journey is recognizing fear. Another step in giving up my fear is appreciating it, becoming more friendly toward it. The next step for me is letting go of fear.

This Lent is showing me more clearly how tightly I cling to fear. Fear is my lifeboat, and I hold onto it with everything I have. I have a vise-like grip locked on fear, and becoming more afraid only makes me hold on more closely.

The strength of my grip on fear strengthens fear’s grip on me.

Fear has been with me longer than I can remember. My relationship to fear is not only rational; it cannot be changed through rational analysis alone. All of my thinking and all of my attempts to understand fear lead me, eventually, to the point where I begin to let go.

It is only as I let go of fear that fear loosens its grip on me.

For me, my fear often expresses itself in frustration or anger. Deep within I expect myself to be perfect, and am afraid that I will not be able to be perfect. Initially, that fear makes sense. I will not be able to be perfect. It is my investment in the expectation that feeds the fear.

I do not always want to let go. So much of me is heavily invested that letting go feels like abandoning the only support I have. For me, it is only seeing the bigger picture, appreciating how fear holds me back, that keeps me going.

It is seeing what fear costs me that enables me to begin letting go.

I begin, one finger at a time, to relax my hold on fear.

What does fear cost you?

What holds you back?

[Image by cathyse97]