The key ingredients to a successful remarriage are selecting a partner who is realistic about the challenges ahead and willing to work through the inevitable hard times of blending families. Although second marriages have a higher divorce rate that first ones, they can be even better than firsts if you approach your partnership with your eyes wide open and adopt a mindset of “We’re in this together.” It’s normal to feel disillusioned about marriage if you’ve endured a divorce and... Read more
Dear Terry, My husband Kyle and I are drifting apart. We’ve been married sixteen years and are in our early forties. This situation makes me feel increasingly alone and it feels like we are roommates rather than loving spouses. It feels like Kyle ignores me and I’m not sure what to do about it. Even though we are sharing the same spaces and are together a lot due to working at home, Kyle and I rarely spend meaningful time together.... Read more
In a recently-released article by Anggun Bawinur for The Good Men Project’s website, the writer unpacks the challenges of a long-distance relationship amidst the pandemic. Drawing on his perspective of being in an especially long, long-distance partnership — in his case, a romance in which one partner is in Canada and the other is in Southeast Asia — Bawinur shares the very relatable feelings of isolation, uncertainty, and the ever-changing dynamics of COVID-19 rates. He also discusses relevant issues in... Read more
Dear Terry, I was divorced three years ago and my question is “when my children will recover and get used to living in two homes?” I’m a forty-two year old teacher who was married for fifteen years and I have three children ages 10, 12, and 15. My marriage had been very bad for a long time and we argued often. I think we were all relieved for the first few months after my ex-husband moved out but then my... Read more
For better or worse, most couples follow similar patterns that they saw their parents’ model for them. However, with self-awareness of our core beliefs and behaviors, we can begin to make intentions about having a different kind of marriage. This comes down to how we are taught to view ourselves as capable or inadequate of having a successful marriage, and whether we are deserving of love or unworthy. Most experts believe that the first step in getting out from the... Read more
For better or worse, most couples follow similar patterns that they saw their parents’ model for them. However, with self-awareness of our core beliefs and behaviors, we can begin to make intentions about having a different kind of marriage. This comes down to how we are taught to view ourselves as capable or inadequate of having a successful marriage, and whether we are deserving of love or unworthy. Most experts believe that the first step in getting out from the... Read more
Perhaps one of the most challenging aspects of dealing with the Coronavirus during the past year is an increase of feelings of isolation or loneliness. In the seemingly never-ending age of COVID-19, many people are experiencing an all-new and ever-changing set of challenges. Beyond obvious health concerns, our happiness and well-being are being impacted by media reports of an unrelenting pandemic. According to psychotherapist April Snow, “Human connection is vital not just for survival, but plays a big part in... Read more
During my time as a couples therapist, the most common complaint I’ve heard is about a decrease in sexual intimacy and differences in the degree of sexual desire between partners. This lack of passion in an intimate relationship can cause partners to believe that they have fallen out of love. For instance, Karen, 48, spoke to me about her disappointment and lack of sexual desire with her husband, Todd, 49, over the last several years of their ten year marriage.... Read more
While it’s normal to go through a period of self-reflection when your relationship ends, it’s crucial that you keep things in perspective and focus on healing. Losing a partner, even if you made a decision to end the relationship, can disrupt your life on so many levels because your ex was undoubtedly a part of your daily existence. As a result, breakups can weaken your ability to sleep, eat well, and function at work and in social spheres. To complicate... Read more
Rebuilding a relationship in the wake of infidelity — whether romantic, emotional or financial — is one of the biggest hurdles in maintaining a marriage. Dishonesty breeds distrust, and in a recent article for The Good Men Project, writer Matthew Fray recounts his first-hand experience of repairing a relationship after a pattern of lies and betrayals had taken their toll. In his honest and revealing article, Fray admits his faults and assumes responsibility for a relationship that ended up on... Read more
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