“Be Nice” is too often “Shut Up” – UPDATED

My column at First Things today looks at the tyranny of those folks I call the “niceniks”:

Lately I have noticed in some of my acquaintances the development of a very grave and solemn habit, indeed—a tendency to expect niceness in everyone they meet, particularly in professed Christians. When exposed to someone’s overwhelming urge to snark at politicians, headlines, celebrity-sham-marriages, and overplayed cards of indignation—all sound targets deserving a bit of cathartic scorn—these folks turn their heads away and, with a heavy sigh and choked tone, wonder why, oh why, can’t we all just get along?
[…]
Jesus said many things that probably make our modern niceniks squirm in the pews: “Let the dead bury the dead!” (But Jesus, how dismissive!); “I have come to turn a man against his father, a daughter against her mother. . .” (You’re so divisive!); “Shake the dust from your feet as a testimony against them!” (Hater!); “Get thee behind me, Satan,” (Jesus! Peter was just trying to be nice!).

But Jesus did not want Peter’s niceness; he wanted Peter’s self-awareness, that he was not nice. Jesus’ prophecy of his denials insured that Peter would, finally, see his wretchedness and so be humbled, the better to be rebuilt in Christ.

Basically, once again, it comes down to what one wants to do vs what others want you to do. It’s a good thing to want to be nice. But when the scolds insist that we must be nice or would compel us to be nice, then . . . it’s not so nice.

You can read the rest here.

UPDATE I: Frank Weathers on Nice girls and holiness

UPDATE: Apparently Kathy Shaidle has written a book called, The Tyranny of Nice; can’t believe I missed it!

UPDATE II: Then again, there is also Please, Stop!

UPDATE III: Our friend, Shana shared this from Msgr. Charles Pope, who says that “nice” is very nice, but not especially holy: