Aunt Life is the Best Life

What role does an aunt or uncle, along with parents’ single friends, play in the lives of children? I wangled today’s post from my very busy, very talented friend Nika Spaulding, who spends her days pastoring, podcasting, and studying—unless she’s sneaking off to create the best kind of aunt chaos.

In October thirteen years ago, the tectonic plates underneath me shook and rocked my whole world. Suddenly I had new fears I had never considered before, new dreams birthed out of the ether, and my life’s purpose shifted entirely. My niece entered the world, and I have never been the same.

The last decade as an aunt I’ve worn down I-35 between Dallas and Yukon. I’ve raced home to see soccer games, baseball games, class plays, Christmas mornings (not an easy feat as a full-time pastor), and birthdays with bounce houses. Every summer I steal my nephew and two nieces for Aunt Camp, where we inhale sugar, ignore bedtimes, and perform shenanigans before nightly prayers. When I’m not with them, I think about them, pray for them, and talk about them incessantly. When I die, just put “Aunt Nika” on my tombstone. If I accomplish nothing else in my life, I want it to be said of me that I was a terrific aunt.

Many of my friends became aunts a few years after me, and they have been so kind to say they have learned some things from me. I wish I could take credit, but the truth is, I learned it from my Aunt Lynda and Uncle Nick.

Nick and Lynda never had their own kids, so they were the perfect candidates for me to weasel my way into their lives and monopolize their time and attention. I spent most of my formative years living with them in the summers, and a few times in college I showed up forgetting to mention I was staying for weeks instead of the weekend like they assumed. I weaseled well. The fruit of those years spent together continues to blossom in my life today.

One time I rammed a 4-wheeler into my uncle’s SUV. I expected him to blow a gasket, but instead, he conspired with me to tell everyone that the dent was already there. I doubt anyone believed us since multiple witnesses saw me hit it, but it taught me that people matter more than things and uncles make great co-conspirators.

Some of the reasons I ran off to California to live with them is because life was not always easy in Oklahoma. I like to think I know what Mary felt like when she visited Elizabeth—needing a comforting, loving place when things were tough back home. Lynda was my Elizabeth—a haven for a teen who needed it. Nick gave me a love for the great outdoors by taking me hiking in the Sierras, which ended up making Psalm 19 more glorious. Lynda taught me how to cook and make the world’s greatest hummus, which ended up making the meals of Luke come alive. Much of who I am today reflects the lessons, experiences, and love my aunt and uncle shared with me.

They are the reason why I strive to make sure my babies know there is a haven for them at my place.

They are the reason I buy experiences instead of toys for the kids.

They are the reason why I take being an aunt very seriously knowing the potential impact I can have in their young lives.

And, they are the reason I sometimes co-conspire with my nieces and nephew against my brother and sister-in-law. We fool no one, but solidarity with your dad’s big sister makes for fun family drama. On more than one occasion I have been known to say, “They are perfect and have never done anything wrong.”

God knew what he was doing when he made the family. We need good moms and dads. But, in this world, we also need good aunts and uncles. Becoming an aunt was a privilege beyond what I deserved. But, by God’s grace and because of the example set before me, I am striving to make sure my nieces and nephew are more of who Christ is calling them to be. And, somehow by doing that, it is making me more of who Christ is calling me to be. It is not just a cute phrase, but a gospel truth: The aunt life is the best life. Join me in it.

Nika Spaulding is a proud graduate of both the University of Oklahoma with a Bachelor’s in Zoology and Dallas Theological Seminary with a Master’s of Theology. She’s currently working on her Doctorate of Ministry at Northern Seminary. After several years as a Women’s Minister in North Dallas, God gave her the privilege of planting a church in Oak Cliff called St Jude Oak Cliff. She loves her new role as the Resident Theologian. When she’s not cheering on her Sooners, playing with her cat, Clive, or enjoying a good meal with her friends, she’s probably sneaking off to Oklahoma to snuggle with her favorite humans: her nieces and nephew.