He has contributed several great articles here on GoodGuySwag, and I know I am not the only one who is moved by his honesty. He’s just not afraid to admit where he has gone wrong nor does he hide behind his flaws. He is willing to talk openly about his past mistakes, including his sexual missteps.

I find his transparency really, really refreshing. Shortly after I got to know Will he told me of an opportunity he had to be on a reality TV show with several adult film actors and producers from Holland, a show that revolves around their lives in the porn industry.

He landed the gig and although he was a minor character on the show, he was a fan favorite. He was the main cast member’s Christian friend in an atmosphere where few Christians, particularly those like him who hold the historic, biblical view of sexual ethics and morality (including the view that consumption of porn is wrong and destructive) dare to venture.

But Will isn’t scared. That’s because he knows how to love. And there is no fear in love.

Will knows he has been forgiven, and those who have been forgiven much, love much. Behind all the lights and cameras, the porn actors Will knows and loves are real people with real stories, and their screen personas aren’t really them at all. With no “us against them mentality” holding him back, he knows that his friends in the porn world have very, very different perspectives on life (as you might imagine) and their careers could not be more different, but as human beings they are not so different from each other. We are all in need of the grace of God.

Although I personally have not watched this Dutch reality TV show in which he was cast, I have seen a few portions of it. Believe it or not, when Will appears on camera the show becomes a much more wholesome program.

Check out this clip when Will took a porn star to church one Sunday.

If you ask Will, he will tell you of the necessity of turning from immorality, and that Jesus has cleansed him from his past missteps and shame.

Yet it remains a gnarly struggle at times, and the process of living out his faith-informed beliefs can be painful and particularly challenging in a hedonistic “if-it-feels-good-do-it” culture. Watch this poignant segment from an episode that aired last fall, a testament to Will’s characteristic transparency.

The world’s fallenness includes the fallenness of human sexuality and every single one of us is affected by it.

We have to recognize that. No amount of moralistic “Just Say No” to sexual sin can change the fact that every last one of us has misused our sexuality in some way, and I am one who very much believes in refraining from sexual sin.

God is not anti-sex. Sex was and is, after all, his idea. It is a glorious thing to be enjoyed between a husband and wife in the covenant of marriage and, also contrary to conventional wisdom, among the devout, married sex is spectacularly great.

Whatever the sexual temptation (and I know men who have battled every kind under the sun!), managing appetites does require discipline, and that discipline must be lived in the context of a covenant community that is not afraid of the pain and issues that come with the misappropriation of sexual desire.

For me, that covenant community is a men’s group at my church and I have found it hugely helpful to be honest about what I am struggling with and experiencing with them. They do not tolerate willful compromise one iota, and they hold me accountable and challenge me. But most importantly, these men love me unconditionally–EVERY man needs (and desires) this kind of connection. It is but one way you become a better man.

Pope John Paul II called sexual desire “the atomic energy of the soul.” Pretty accurate descriptor, isn’t it? Atomic energy is not so easily managed much less restrained. We need all the help we can get. Among men there’s something really powerful about not only acknowledging the struggle but having other men of integrity speak to it.

The first step is to be ultra-transparent. Few have exhibited that with more courage than you, Will. You are an inspiration. Major, major good guy swag.

______________________________________________________
This piece was originally published on GoodGuySwag.com, in which I honor my good friend Will Youngblood for his faithful witness and transparency. Photo Credit: Goodguyswag.com, Kris Wolfe