January 28, 2019

There is a fascinating verse in the Bible that says this: “Anyone who falls on this stone will be broken to pieces; anyone on whom it falls will be crushed” (Matthew 21:44). It is essentially saying that the person who willing surrenders to the truth will be hurt, challenged, and convicted by it. And the only other option is to deny it; but in doing so it will fall on us unawares and destroy us completely. One way or another,… Read more

January 25, 2019

One of the hardest things for us to do is admit when we are wrong. Acknowledging fault feels dangerous to us. And it is. While there are some good reasons we are afraid, the benefits outweigh the risks.   Don’t Make A Mistake The reason we try so hard to cover up, deny, or run from our faults is because we live in a Don’t-Make-A-Mistake culture. There is evidence of this all around. We were watching a popular baking-competition-show on… Read more

January 23, 2019

The truth is, we don’t like consequences. At least, we don’t like the ones we don’t like. We actually love consequences when they work out in our favor. We love the feel of compensation for a job well done. However, most of us take this as a given and hardly notice it or associate it with consequences. When we think of consequences, we are most often considering the negative repercussions of our behavior. And we hate that. We try to… Read more

January 21, 2019

As we’ve traveled around the country doing leadership training, we read lots of books on leadership, and seriously contemplate how leadership affects our lives, one question has turned up with glaring consistency: Can anyone be a leader? Before we get too deep into tools and practices, concepts and approaches, for leadership, we have to determine exactly who the audience is. Can everyone be a leader? Or is it a calling for a select few?   Why the Question Matters I… Read more

January 18, 2019

The New Year is underway. The holiday season is on the downswing as 2019 gets going in earnest. Some have already given up on resolutions, students are heading back to class soon, and work has started again. With traditions, complicated family dynamics, and transforming decorations, the gap of time between Thanksgiving to New Years is full of emotions. The ups are particularly high and the downs are especially low. Why are our emotions so heightened during this season? What are… Read more

January 16, 2019

Expectations are a tricky thing. On the one hand, it is healthy to expect certain things – to be treated with respect, to not be interrupted, to have the laws obeyed, etc. On the other hand, our expectations are so deep and so thorough that we do not even know their full extent ourselves. We expect people to react in very specific ways. I once had a friend who would ‘test’ people in her life by acting a certain way…. Read more

January 14, 2019

In this season of new beginnings, all of us are contemplating change to one degree or another. We all want to change. We want to feel better or be better or look better. We want more money, more friends, more free time. And all of these things are possible. They really are. But it takes work. There aren’t any shortcuts to change. Well, there are, but they are as rare as winning the lottery. We are convinced we want to… Read more

January 11, 2019

There is perhaps nothing more definitive for a culture than language. A shared vernacular helps distinguish one community from another. Ethnic cultures around the world can be discerned by their languages. You can tell which generation a person is from by hearing the kinds of words and references they use. Vernacular shapes culture. It helps determine a nuanced set of jokes and verbiage to delineate what is honorable and what is shameful. And to delineate one culture from another. This is… Read more

January 9, 2019

Seeking truth is a complicated struggle. Trying to discover what is real and what is false is much harder than it seems. Our ability at self-deception is incredible. The blinders we have concerning the weakness of our own bias is another deeply troubling challenge. The world is plagued by one particular tendency. We’ve stopped searching for the truth. Instead, we have assumed the truths are clear (it’s what we’ve thought all along!) and we spend every waking moment trying to… Read more

January 7, 2019

The holidays are full of merriment and cheer. Mostly. One thing that can get in the way is the difficulty of spending time with relatives we don’t see very often. Emotions can run high as old wounds resurface and familiar patterns reset. Communication is the key to every relationship. And this is as true during holiday visits as in any other time. Whether it is in a marriage, with siblings, parents, or children, communication is both the fuel and barometer… Read more

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