Every day we wake up and log in to a game. The game is called control. We spend our entire day trying to gain control. We want to control the way people think about us and the way things turn out, our work and relationships, our emotions and our outcomes. The scramble for control is a system one behavior. It has been programmed within us. We don’t even realize we are doing it. And when we do, we’re not sure what could... Read more
We live in a somber world. There is no escaping the reality of challenge and pain in our everyday lives. However, this is not the entire story. As we stumble towards maturity, both individually and relationally, the often-untapped power of gratitude has the ability to transform everything. Why Not There is one simple reason we find gratitude so difficult to come by. We don’t want to be victims of absurdity. Because we live in a world of hurt, we... Read more
We try so hard. Our best foot is often placed forward. But our intentions derail. Our risks don’t work out. All of us are imperfect. A life of meaning cannot be lived without some failure along the way. Michael Jordan was cut from his high school basketball team. John Grisham couldn’t get a publisher and had to sell books from the trunk of his car. Most of our lives are structured to avoid failure. What do we do when the... Read more
In our world so full of progression and performance, each of us wants to grow. We want to change for the better. But our habits have us in chains. Growth is not as easy as it seems. It is not as simple as going to school when we’re told and repeating what the teacher says. As we grow, we face new challenges. Stronger defenses. Higher walls. Personal growth is an exponentially necessary human task. But most of us stall more often... Read more
My wife and I were watching a soccer game recently. The home-team players were great. As individuals they were phenomenal. The team as a whole was terrible. In terms of skill, they were facing a far inferior opponent. But the game ended in a tie. The fantastic individuals kept doing tricks, trying for the ohhs and ahhhs of the crowd. They held the ball too long and the team suffered. What should have been an easy victory was turned into... Read more
I was traveling recently and had to leave my bags in an international train station storage locker during a six hour layover. In my haste, I forgot to grab my book and my laptop. There was no WIFI to be had and my phone was low on battery. Those six hours showed me a lot about the value of solitude and silence. Solitude is great for a lot of reasons. We are so focused on community and relationship that we... Read more
It’s a practice New Yorkers know well. People watching. It’s easier to name in big cities with large public spaces. But the truth is we are all people watchers, and practicing it has a significant impact on our human development. The Early Stages As infants, we start out with a very me-centered worldview. Everything is new and everything is measured by the way it affects us. It’s a hard habit to break. Some people will go their entire lives... Read more
As we strive to determine our values, it is important for us to learn how to be honest with ourselves. Our knee-jerk reaction to the topic of values thrusts us to spout out the answers we think we should have, like children in school who have learned how to regurgitate the correct answers on command. It’s easy to say we value truth or peace or love. But do we? Are these truly our values or are they the masks our true... Read more
The relationships we are in often carry some assumptions. We have our own way of thinking about how it all works. But we might not be as right as we think. Before Copernicus, everyone assumed that the Earth was the center of the universe. It was kind of intuitive. It made a lot of sense. Perspective often becomes reality with little questions asked. But then Copernicus made an incredible discovery. Too incredible for some to believe. The solar system actually... Read more
We’re in Paris this week and it is wonderful. Life has been busy and challenging. 2018 will always be remembered as a year of tribulation for us. In the midst of a miscarriage, bedbugs, tax surprises, a job change, and a revolving door of visitors, life has been beautiful and good, but in the most painful of ways. We counted down the days to the trip. And then, when it got close, the hours. We just needed to get away. But how... Read more
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