Why Do I Have to Walk on Eggshells?

Why is everyone so darn sensitive these days? Why has political correctness gotten so out of control? Why am I the one who has to walk on eggshells around people so they don’t get their precious feelings hurt?

If you’ve ever said or thought things like this, then this blog post is for you! I’m here to explain the answer to these questions.

Think about what the purpose of political correctness is. Is it to make your life more difficult? Is it to be annoying? No, of course not. Its purpose is to help and remind people to be kind to one another; to be compassionate, have empathy, and put yourself in another person’s shoes.

When people ask you not to use a certain racial slur or participate in an activity that is hurtful to them, maybe your response should be kindness. Is that really so difficult? Is it such a burden to you to have to be nice to people? To have to show care for the experiences of others?

No matter how annoying you find having to be “PC” to be, the person who has been experiencing the harrasment that the PCness is meant to correct has it far worse than you. They are experiencing hurt that you don’t know and have no interest in learning about.

If your response to someone is that they are being more sensitive than you would be, then I’m 99% sure you’ve never experienced whatever harassment or situation has caused them to say they are hurting. Would you really rather hurt them even more? Is that what you think you’re on this earth to do? To pour salt in other people’s wounds? You sound like a real jerk when you say that it’s such a burden to you to be nice to people, just so you know.

People feel what they feel. It can’t be wrong, it just is. You can’t tell someone “No, you aren’t feeling that.”

People know their own feelings and experiences. So when someone tells you they feel a certain way, if your first reaction is to say “That’s ridiculous, you can’t feel that way” please stop yourself and think for a moment.

Why is it important to you that they not feel the way they do? Is it challenging to a status quo that you are comfortable in? Does it mean you’d have to take a little more time out of your life to make one extra step? Does it remind you of truths that you’d rather ignore?

To tell someone that they aren’t feeling what they are feeling or to tell someone that they are being too sensitive, is to dismiss their experience and tell them that what they experience is not as important as what you experience; that their feelings are less important and meaningful than your feelings. Is that what you intend to convey? (If so, you probably shouldn’t be interacting with human beings.)

I know it’s super easy to get defensive when someone tells you that something you’re doing is hurting them. But stop and think: do you really honestly want to keep doing something that is causing pain to someone else? Why is your freedom to do something hurtful more important to you than the feelings of your fellow human being? Before you begin to rant, please answer that question at least in your own heart.

This doesn’t mean that you always stop doing whatever it is. It only means that you take that moment to breathe, to stop, to think. For one moment, try your best to exercise whatever empathy you have within you and imagine it from the other person’s point of view. Then have a discussion about it. Listen to how that person is feeling, explain how you are feeling. Don’t tell someone what they are feeling, but try to draw them out to explain what about the situation has them feeling that way.

Because you want progress, right? You want better understanding between you and others? The only way to increase compassion and kindness between people is to have that kind of dialog. If you’re not interested in increasing kindness between people, then you should probably hole yourself up in a cave somewhere and throw rocks at anyone who tries to visit.