So there I was, sipping on Nyquil, when it was brought to my attention that the video I made had approximately a bajillion views, which written in numbers looks something like 3,330, give or take a few zeros. So I said to myself, “Self. This might mean a few thousand/million newcomers to your blog!” to which my self responded, “Hey! Brilliant deduction, big guy!” So I figured, goodness, what better way to welcome such lost and frightened individuals then to offend a large group of people! Brilliant! The only question remaining was which group, for there are many, nay a veritable plethora of silly groups that need offending. Feminists or The-World-Is-Overpopulated-Ahhhernites? Thanks to the marvelous freedom of the unpublished publication, the answer is both. So we’ll start with the former, for I am a truly believer in that timeless maxim, “Ladies first.”
Recently, and on more than one occasion, women paraded topless through city streets, so as to protest a hideously unequal treatment society deals out: that it is sometimes appropriate for a man to be shirtless, but never appropriate for women to follow suit. There is, of course, the glaring fact that a parade of topless women – however wonderfully Amazonian – is not the best method to make a publicly bare-breasted woman appear normal. When you want something widely accepted by the populace – like potatoes, haircuts and polo-shirts – you hardly make a parade out of it. Besides, there are very few parades of topless men, and even fewer that are considered normal by any stretch of the imagination. But while the event failed to impact the world’s unwritten dress-code, it does neatly sum up the whole problem of the feminist movement. That is to say: men took pictures. The leaders of the parades were besides themselves with this strange and offensive discovery; that men, against all odds and hopeful predictions, behave like men; cat-calling, oggling, and all the rest.
My point is this: Feminism is not a victorious bow of Woman Accomplished to the applause of the world, but a bow of defeat, by a minority of women, to the lusts of men. Woman has been historically more moral than man, transcending his primitive nature with her primitive grace, meeting his fantasies of lust with her realities of children, and checking – and checkmating – his passions with her own; control, commitment and humility utterly destroying man’s vague need for a drink – not to undercut man’s delicate ego by too much. On the other hand, the modern feminism effectively exalts men, women pressing their noses to the ground and saying: To your lusts we promote contraception and abortion, that your lusts might increase and our power over them decrease. To your pleasure we lower ourselves to the level of men, to be treated as such. And in the current case I speak of: We admit that our chests are no more attractive then your’s, and will thus no longer bother to cover them. You win.
And unfortunately, there are men who take full advantage of this surrender. Behind every “male feminist” there is the grin of a manipulative jerk. Is it any suprise that the greatest supporters of abortion are not women, but men from 18 to 30 years of age? That contraception is almost entirely the burden of women? This modern feminism is failure, and it is the worst kind that win. But being a guy, I guess I’m not actually allowed to say any of that. Oh well.
That’s all. It’s probably no big deal anymore, modern feminists are dying out, being replaced by real feminists.