A Bad Case of the Mondays

We made it to the beach yesterday and spent a fabulous four hours swimming, building sand castles, collecting shells and forcing screaming toddlers to get in the water whether they wanted to or not. (We’re cruel that way.)

As a direct result of all that fun, though, today has been an epic day of whiny, tired children, a tired mama, and an overall case of the Mondays.

Liam shook things up a little by pulling a steaming-hot mug of steeping tea off the counter and onto his face. He’s fine, just minor first-degree burns, thank goodness. I, however, had such an enormous jolt of adrenaline delivered to my system when I heard that blood-curdling scream (no really, I closed the fifteen-foot gap between me and the wee destructor before the mug hit the tile) that I had to sit down for the next two hours. (After a tepid bath, cool compresses, aloe, and an early naptime for Liam, that is.)

I’m still sitting down, but now it’s voluntary as opposed to necessary, which is a relief.

All in all, not much has been accomplished today, not even washing the sandy laundry still occupying the beach bag on the kitchen floor, so I’ve decided not to devote too much time to blogging lest I disturb the balance of the day and create something worthwhile. Instead, I’ll just give you a couple of links.

First, at the request of one of my blogging buddies and fellow contributor at Ignitum Today, I want to make you all aware of the current cause for the canonization of Archbishop Fulton J. Sheen. I don’t know much about the good Archbishop, except that he’s responsible for the most hilarious quote ever on The Crescat‘s sidebar, but I do know that my friend Bonnie’s son James is alive today through an alleged miracle that is one of the two being considered by the Vatican as they examine the cause for canonization. (I don’t really have any doubts that James’ healing is a miracle, but apparently you have to use the term ‘alleged’ before the Vatican verifies it. I do like that the Church takes this so seriously, however.) Anyway, Bonnie is working for the Sheen Foundation right now, and she’s asked some of her fellow bloggers to post about the Foundation to help raise awareness of the cause. The Sheen Foundation will also need to raise quite a bit of money to cover the costs associated with the tribunal studying the case right now (such as translating everything into Italian and covering the fees of the medical experts who must review and verify all the evidence). Archbishop Sheen is thought to be one of the best candidates for patronage of blogging and new media because of his own pioneering work in radio and television, which might be of special interest to the rest of you bloggers.

You can read about the miraculous healing of Bonnie’s son James here. For more information on Archbishop Sheen or to donate to the Sheen Foundation, visit their website here.

The second link is neither worthy nor holy, but I just can’t stop reading Cracked. Here’s a good place to start: The 5 Creepiest Progressive Parenting Fads. Or, if you’re not a parent or are a parent but don’t want to spend your downtime reading more about parenting (hey, I feel ya), try this one: 6 Horrifying Implications of the Harry Potter Universe. Or if you hate Harry Potter and came over here from Freejinger to tell me what a horrible person I am, don’t worry, the good people at Cracked agree with you. See? Something for everyone. Including foul language and off-color jokes…fair warning.  

Okay, the next one is something I can totally get behind: a WaPo article on young Catholic women trying to re-brand NFP. I agree with 99.9% of this article, especially the part about the dreadful clothing worn by most of the women in the terrible NFP manuals. Here’s what I would like to see: a book written on the Marquette method, the method I’m more and more convinced is the only one that will ever work for me, with a woman on the cover wearing an AC/DC t-shirt. And with pop-up illustrations, because let’s face it, a pop-up illustration of the cervix would be both unexpected and hilarious. Can’t you just see the reactions?

 (The above is why no one ever asks me to write serious articles on NFP, and why if anyone was thinking about it, they definitely aren’t now.)

Finally, there’s this: the best thing I’ve read all day, or perhaps ever.

I hope your Monday is going better than mine is. If it’s not, here’s something to make you laugh.

You’re welcome

  • Karen

    I want to give a shout-out to the Marquette Method! Back in the days when dinosaurs roamed the earth, when my husband and I got married, I tried the charting/temperature method. Didn't work for me. My normal body temperature is on the low side anyway, and it never did what the books all said it "should" during my cycle.So I hunted around and bought a ClearBlue Ovulation Monitor, even though it said, "NOT TO BE USED TO PREVENT PREGNANCY." Whatever. Using that, and checking my body's signs, i was able to figure out my cycle. We have four kids, spaced 4 1/2 years, 2 years (that time I actually ovulated four days early, I'm pretty sure it's because God heard me say I'd like to try again when #2 was2 years old; all He heard was "BABY"), and 4 1/2 years. We wanted to become involved with the Couple 2 Couple League, but their information said that any couples teaching NFP had to be using a particular method, not the Marquette, as it was now called. Instead I just get to educate my OB whenever he asks what I'm using for birth control. He is FASCINATED by the idea of a non-prescription method, and takes notes.

  • http://grace-filled.net jen

    Cracked.Com makes me happy. It's also the largest reason for me not getting anything done or for me being up too late.

  • http://www.blogger.com/profile/01805401564651493025 Bonnie

    Karen, I'm so impressed with your ob-gyn! Wow!Calah, THANK YOU for posting about Fulton Sheen! I'm amazed that you haven't read his stuff before. Three to Get Married, Life of Christ, Treasure and Clay… try him, you might like him! Also, I'm not working for the Sheen Foundation, I just feel this unnecessary sense of responsibility to help promote his cause and raise money since it was my son's alleged miracle that is being investigated. But I really do want him to be canonized – Sheen was such a great evangelizer and would be a great saint for our time!Thank you again!

  • http://aiketgate.wordpress.com Hannah Elise

    Okay….1. I read this in the blog right below yours in my RSS feed (Barefoot and Pregnant, followed by Bayou Renaissance Man… gotta love it!), and… well, I thought, "Gee. Calah has a somewhat off-color sense of humour, too… she mightappreciate this." http://bayourenaissanceman.blogspot.com/2012/03/doofus-of-day-582.html. Or maybe not. But I had to share it with someone. ;)2. That Judd article? Superb. I'm going to go quote it to all my Facebook friendsnow.3. But not until I stop laughing about the pop-up illustration of the cervix.4. Oh, and what's the Marquette method? I've heard of NFP, but not that…

  • http://www.blogger.com/profile/07632005486245515873 Calah

    Yup, Karen, that'll be me after this pg. It's not that I don't love babies, it's just that I miss my waistline…plus, carrying four kids in eight years is exhausting. I'm physically drained from it. My OB makes fun of me when I mention any natural alternatives to birth control, and keeps trying to diagnose me with some unrelated hormonal malady so he can give me birth control. You're lucky.

  • http://www.blogger.com/profile/07632005486245515873 Calah


  • http://www.blogger.com/profile/07632005486245515873 Calah

    No problem Bonnie…I'm playing convert catch-up with all the saints, honestly. It's a long, fun game, but some of the good ones slip by. Sorry about the misunderstanding! I'm not sure why I thought that. Do you want me to change it in the original post?

  • http://www.blogger.com/profile/07632005486245515873 Calah

    Hannah, I just read that and laughed so hard. Oh man, that girl must have been embarrassed. Hahahaha. Thanks for the laugh! (My sense of humor is totally off-color. And it makes me happy.)The Marquette method is a method of NFP developed by Marquette University (they have a crash course on their website). It uses the ClearBlueEasy Fertility Monitor in conjunction with checking signs. I need to use it because 1) I always forget to check my signs and 2) by the end of the day I can't remember what I ate for breakfast, let alone what my cervical mucus looked like all day. (TMI, I know, but there's just no way to get around these icky things in any discussion of NFP. I know, I've tried.)I owe you an email! I did read your last one like three times and just haven't written back. Life, ya know?

  • Karen

    Have you looked at the One More Soul website? They have a an NFP-only directory of physicians. That's how we found our GP. He's Catholic, and runs a practice with his brother, who is "sort of" Catholic. Our doctor refers anybody wanting artificial birth control over to his brother's side of the building. My OB, I did get really lucky. He was recommended by the other moms in a Catholic homeschooling group I was attending at the time; I was looking for a doctor with a high success rate for VBACs.

  • Karen

    Calah, maybe this will help–there is apparently a pro-life OB GYN opening a practice in Naples, according to this:http://www.caritasobgyn.com/