Woe is Me

I’m still sick. Pneumonia is so lame. I haven’t had it since I was a kid, and I was imagining that getting over it would be like getting over bronchitis or a sinus infection: here’s your antibiotics and some cough medicine, and bam, 2 days later you end up forgetting to take the rest of your antibiotics because you feel so much better.

No, pneumonia is not like that at all. The doctor put me on two concurrent antibiotics. I finished the first one last night and am halfway through the second, and I fully expected, after feeling marginally better yesterday, to wake up this morning and be well enough to work out, clean the house, and generally be cheerful.

Hell no. I feel worse today than I did yesterday. I can hear my own chest rattling every time I breathe in and out. After every coughing fit I’m shocked that my lungs aren’t on the floor. My head is splitting, I’m dizzy, I have chills, and I feel like my limbs weigh a thousand pounds.

This is seriously cramping my style. Kassie (yes, Kass-tacular herself) is coming to visit us this weekend and I gave myself permission to be sick until tomorrow, at which point I must begin conquering the house that has gone almost entirely unchallenged for two solid weeks of sickness. Also, the girls have dance recitals this weekend, I have lunch duty tomorrow, the Ogre has serious dissertation work to do, and I absolutely MUST get back to working out. I put on ten whole pounds from the combination of steroids, birthday cake, and immobility. I’m starting to have panic attacks about my jeans not fitting again. I don’t have time for all this sickness crap!

I tried to will myself into feeling better this morning. I realized after being awake for about 2 hours that I wasn’t just tired, I was death warmed over. So I decided not to be. I just started humming and unloading the dishwasher like I felt great.

I managed to keep it up for about an hour before collapsing on the couch, surrounded by half-folded laundry, and realizing that the only thing I was going to be able to do for the rest of the day was convert oxygen into carbon dioxide.

My little brother sent me this to make me feel better, though, and I’m sharing it with you because it’s hilarious.

Even just writing this non-post wiped me out. I have to go watch Doctor Who and feel sorry for myself now. But here’s this, in case you are like me and need to check several times a day.

See y’all tomorrow, unless I die pathetically before then.