Can a man love God but hate churchgoing?


Asleep in Church
Photo © Church For Men.

I’m noticing a growing trend – Christian men quietly admitting they do not like going to church.

More than half of the committed Christian men I talk to, when asked, will tell me they do not like churchgoing.

They come to me after I speak. They admit their dissatisfaction in hushed tones. They love God – but hate going to church.

These are not malcontents who’d rather be golfing on Sunday. These are the good guys. Guys who’ve left much behind to follow Jesus. Guys who love their wives and kids. Many are deacons and elders. Some teach Sunday school. Some are even pastors. Some are nationally known Christian leaders. If I shared their names you’d be shocked.

Most of these men are faithful churchgoers – yet they freely admit they don’t get much from it.

Most are longtime churchgoers who are simply tired of the routine. The act of churchgoing – going to a building, singing songs, hearing a sermon, eating the cracker and drinking the juice, dropping the check into the plate, socializing and heading back to the car – is leaving them particularly dry. They see church as ineffective, focused on the wrong things, or hypocritical.

Sometimes quality is the issue – but not always. Many of these restless men attend dynamic churches with fantastic preaching and music. They have good friends in the church. In fact one man said, “I absolutely love my church. I just don’t like going to it. I get a quick jolt of inspiration, but the glory quickly fades.”

Furthermore, these men sense that God has more for them – but they can’t seem to find what they’re looking for within the existing structures of church. “I’ve been going to church for 31 years,” Roger says. “I like it well enough, but I can’t help but think there is something more out there. There’s gotta be a more effective way of organizing people for mission.”

So what’s going on here? Is this a trend, or am I just hearing these complaints because I wrote a book titled, “Why Men Hate Going to Church?”

And how about you? Are you a person who loves God but hates going to church? Would you like an alternative to the Sunday morning “God show?”

I’ve posted a poll on the Church for Men Facebook page. Please vote. And leave your comments below.


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  • i12know


    Somewhere along the way, we strayed and focus on Heb.10:25 “Let us not give up meeting together, as some are in the habit of doing…” Without consider the previous command in 10:24 “let us consider how we may spur one another on toward love and good deeds.”

    Our worship service didn’t do enough to “spur… on love and good deeds”, we also didn’t do enough to foster the “one another” aspects either.

    That’s part of the problem. But people simply cannot love God without loving God’s people. Perhaps another part of the problem is we are so much like the post-Constantine’s church, we might just have too many people claim to know God but actually not as well.