The Sacred Sensualist’s Guide to New Year Resolutions

(Or how to play your way through this newest New Year)

Welcome to 2014! Happy New Year and New Moon and Super Moon and the BEST YEAR EVER that EVER happened in the history of ever before! I’ve seen (and sent) a few posts and texts like this one in the last few days. I’m excited about this New Year, 2014. I feel that good things are coming for myself and for those I love, and those that I like, and those that I don’t know but pass in the grocery store. I’m looking forward to those good energy ripples. I’m glad to have completed 2013. (And I’m also just really glad to be another year farther away from 2012. Because That year was kicking ass and taking names all day, every day.) I’m happy to see all of the excitement about this coming year. But I’m also already noticing that I feel so much pressure for it to be a great year that my resolutions have already started to feel like work and I’m trying to rebel against them. Against goals. That I made. And yes, I realize how that sounds.

So, as I sometimes have to do when Lady ‘Tude tries to come and run things, I gave myself a talking to, and remind us (the team of ‘we’ called Nadirah) why resolutions are a great way to reinvigorate the goals that I’ve already been working on and to give some new ones a try. In the process, I came up with a hodge podge game plan for adding a dose of fun and foolishness to the resolution process for the year.

1) Bring it down a notch- YES! this is going to be an amazing year and expectations for what that means can quickly get in the way of our ability to recognize the true nature of the amazingness happening within and around us. When I first started attending public rituals, I was so excited to be there (“I’m a real witch! Doing really witchy things! Who are all these weirdos?! I’m like the black chick from The Craft.“). I felt a need for there to be something amazing to talk about later. But I was often frustrated that nothing that looked or felt really amazing happened. Nothing! Nothing like what I was looking for, at least. After a while, I realized that when I just showed up, told my excited inner dork to sit down somewhere and be quiet for a minute, and observed what happened, all kinds of amazing things were going on- they were happening inside of me and what happened inside of me corresponded to what was happening in the space and it was a back and forth dance or communication that could not happen until I made space for it. So . . .

2) Make space for your new resolutions and make space for accomplishing not a damn thing. If you’ve already got a list of responsibilities and tasks and To Do’s and blah blah blah adding something else that feels like a chore is just going to suck. We cannot change if we don’t make space for it. Or rather, life can force us to change but then we’d be reliving 2012 and now I just got sad.

3) Be Brazen. Be Foolish. Be Playful. Post your goals somewhere where you can see them. Dare yourself to look or sound ridiculous when you give them a go. Let yourself play and be fun about the process. Play “dress up” in your goal or have an Act As If party– whether with others or by yourself.  Even if you don’t keep to that exact goal, something will happen just from the striving. Especially with that one resolution that you already kinda don’t believe you’re going to stick to. Especially with that one. (You know the one I’m talking about. Yes, that one.)

4) Say YES! And then do something different than your pattern. So, there is going to come a time when the momentum on your goals will start to increase and then you’re going to get the urge to do whatever your thing is that keeps you in your comfort zone- whether it’s to stop showing up or start being unreliable, decide you dislike someone or something and that’s reason enough to stop receiving the benefit of the experience, stop making yourself a priority and then there’s suddenly no time for this gift you offered yourself at the beginning of the year. Just see what happens if you say “yes” and do something different than your habitual pattern. Just for this year.

5) Finally- if you absolutely must cast, cast on yourself, not the world around you. This is probably something most of you have already figured out. I didn’t realize it until I heard it from two wise priestess women within one year and then, rather than having an “Aha!” moment it was a complete”Well, duh!”. Make your request: “Make of me one who does (or has, or creates) blank.” Then notice how tips, opportunities, wise guides and lessons begin to present themselves to you. And then do #4 again.

Warning- if you have a bunch of different resolutions in a lot of different areas of your life, then you, my dear, are striving for a complete life upleveling. Please be aware that that means that you are signing up for a year rife with new experiences, a lot of facing yourself, and general disequilibrium. Congratulations! I’ll see you on the other side!

Have a Happy and Blessed New Year, everyone! I hope it’s your best one yet!

Nadirah Adeye’s themes for 2014 are No Excuses! and Gentleness. She is looking forward to seeing the many ways that those two very different themes interact in the coming year. She suspects that she will be revisiting #4 quite a bit. You can learn more about Nadirah at her site Sacred Sensual Living and by liking her Facebook page.