I talk to couples from all over the world who want a stronger marriage, but most of them don’t know how to take the first step towards making it happen. Part of the struggle is that human beings aren’t designed to change habits very easily, so whatever you’ve been doing in your marriage, whether good or bad, you’ll probably keep doing unless something comes along to force you out of your routine onto a new path. I want to give you a roadmap for how to chart a new course in 7 days, because anything we do for seven consecutive days will usually become a new habit.
It’s going to take longer than a week to transform your marriage, but one week is enough time to establish a new path. Think about it like this…if you were 100 lbs. overweight, you didn’t get that way in a week and you can’t lose all that weight in a week, but one week is enough time to start off in a new direction by jumpstarting your metabolism and creating some new eating habits. In short, one week is just long enough to get off the wrong road and start traveling down the right road.
I’m convinced that if you will consistently do these things every day for a week, you’ll have a completely new direction in your marriage by the week’s end…
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THE 7-DAY CHALLENGE: One week, four daily commitments.
1. Have sex everyday.
You husbands are already onboard! If this is the only thing you do, your marriage will still be stronger in a week. It takes more than sex to make a healthy marriage, but it’s impossible to have a healthy marriage without it. Even if you and your spouse aren’t in a good place right now and the idea of intimacy seems repulsive, do it anyways. Sex is a powerful force that will help you reconnect on a physical, emotional and spiritual level.
Check out our brand new video series “Best Sex Life.”
2. Pray together every night.
This one might freak you out a little bit, but I’m convinced that prayer is one of the most intimate and important acts a couple can do together. Even if you’ve never done it before, pray together daily (out loud). Thank God for all the good in your life, ask Him to forgive you of the mistakes you’ve made and be specific about the mistakes and tell him about your hopes and your fears. Pour out your heart to your Creator in front of your spouse and you’ll connect with each other, and with God, on a new level.
3. Say nothing negative.
For one solid week, you’re not allowed to say anything negative or demanding. If you don’t have something positive to say, don’t say it. Get out of the habit of negativity and nagging. When you slip up on this one, your spouse is allowed to call you out and you’ve got to immediately apologize and follow up with saying three kind things about your spouse. This might sound childish, but you’ll be amazed at how it can change the tone of your words and your relationship.
For more on this, watch my short (funny and very true) video on How to “win” an argument with your spouse.
4. Spend one hour in conversation while all electronics are turned off.
We live in a world where it’s possible to be in the same room but in different worlds. You can’t have a meaningful conversation with your spouse while you’re texting with someone, watching TV, and working on your laptop. For at least one hour each night, after the kids are asleep, turn off the TV and all electronics and have conversation. Maybe you’ve forgotten how to do it, but you’ll pick it back up quickly. Talk about your day, your hopes, your dreams and anything else that comes to your mind. That seven hours of uninterrupted conversation over the course of the week will be fuel for your marriage!
For more ways to invest into your marriage, please check out our new book: “Marriage Minute: Quick & Simple ways to build a Divorce-Proof Relationship” which is now also available on iTunes for Download on iPhones, iPads and all Apple devices.