Jef Holm Quotes Book of Mormon on The Bachelorette, Refuses Overnight Date

“One F Jef” Holm on The Bachelorette may claim not to be “half Mormon” or even “full Mormon,” but he certainly can quote the Book of Mormon. In a previous post, I wrote about the always awkward “overnight date” card presentation when Emily handed the card to Jef and coyly asked, “What do you think?”

“What do I think,” he asked, a little embarrassed. “I think it would be awesome to forego our individual rooms, but I understand and respect that your daughter and my family will be watching this. They’re involved in this process too.  There’s a time and a place.  I plan on spending every night with you in our own fantasy suite.”

“I’m thankful that you responded that way,” she responded.  “You’re always a gentleman… I want to spend more time with you, but I can’t spend the night.”

Later, they checked out the fantasy suite, admired the romantic set up, and decided it would be the perfect place to spend the night.  However, Jef, explained, “There’s a time and a place for everything.  And right now, it’s time for us to bridle these passions.”

For someone who’s “not a practicing Mormon,” he obviously still retains his moral compass.

However, on Twitter, I was told that this “bridling of passions” phrasing was more than just an aphorism. It apparently has a Book of Mormon origin.

Speicifically, I discovered, it came from the book of Alma, chapter 38 verse 12:


12 Use aboldness, but not overbearance; and also see that ye bbridle all your passions, that ye may be filled with love; see that ye refrain from idleness.

Whatever the original source, I think evangelicals, Mormons, half-Mormons, and Jews can be very thankful that his beliefs and moral standards prevented this.

You might also enjoy these Bachelor-related articles:

Jef Holm Explains to Good Morning America that He and Emily Aren’t Living Together

Sean Lowe: My Faith in Jesus Helped Me Get Over Heartbreak Over Emily

The Bachelorette: Where Grammar Goes to Die

Religion on The Bachelorette: It’s There, But Just Below the Surface

Mormons Create “The Mormon Bachelor”

Jef Holm: I’m Not a Practicing Mormon

The Bachelorette: I Won’t Shack Up Before Marriage

Connect with Me Further by:

Friending me on Facebook

Following me on Twitter

Religion on The Bachelorette: Just Under the Surface
‘Macho Christianity’ Isn’t the Problem, Gimmick Christianity Is
Patricia Arquette, It’s Time to Admit: It’s a Great Time to Be a Girl
How “The Bachelorette” is like Socialism
About Nancy French

Nancy French is a three time New York Times Best Selling Author.

  • Pingback: Jef from The Bachelorette: I’m Not a Practicing Mormon()

  • Machtyn

    Perhaps he referenced it from The Book of Mormon. However, it more than likely came from the For the Strength of Youth pamphlet.
    Specifically, the section on dating and/or sexual relations
    Okay, okay. I just mis-remembered it (I was a “youth” a long time ago, when they first introduced it.) The pamphlet has gone through a bunch of revisions in any case. Anyway, I may have just been remembering this talk:

  • Dorene Russell

    A good moral compass is not exclusive to the Mormon faith, most followers of the Christian faith also try to follow true north as well. Just sayin’. We also believe that Jesus is the ONLY son of God and not Satan’s brother. We also don’t believe that Christian men can become gods. We DO believe that as the Bible teaches, nothing shall be added or taken away from the Bible, there is not need for another interpretation of His Word, nor another supplemental book. We also believe, as the Bible teaches, that either a TRUE prophet is 100% correct or he is not prophet at all. (ie Joseph Smith, blacks, polygamy, etc. No mention of forthcoming revelations/edicts Joe Smith, I’m pretty sure God got it right the FIRST time)

  • hillplus

    Dorene, the Bible does not teach the things that you say it does. ;)

  • Suzanne

    Dorene, I think we can agree on the most important aspect of being a Christian and that is that we believe that Jesus Christ is the Son of God and the Savior of all mankind. : ) And I totally agree on the moral compass thing. I believe we’ve all been giving a moral compass, or the light of Christ, which tells us right from wrong even from the beginning of our lives. If only everyone heeded that light more often in their lives, and even on television when it’s not the popular thing to do. So I commend Emily and Jef and the other bachelors for showing respect to God and to each other by not accepting the fantasy suites.

  • Tyler Bruford

    Ah Dorene, you’re just as ignorant as the folks you persecute

  • Poqui

    “Latter-Day Saints believe that God is literally the Father of our spirits. We believe we lived in a pre-existence with Him. This pre-existence is another subject, but it should be understood we believe this, so that we can understand that God, in being our Heavenly Father, is not symbolic or figurative; the relationship is literal.

    “The Bible tells us that God is the father of our spirits. ‘Furthermore we have had fathers of our flesh which corrected us, and we gave them reverence: shall we not much rather be in subjection unto the father of spirits, and live?’ (Hebrews 12:9) More than this, the Bible tells us we are theoffspring of our Heavenly Father. ‘For in him we live, and move, and have our being; as certain also of your own poets have said, For we are also his offspring.’ (Acts 17:28) Our physical bodies are the offspring of our mortal parents, and God is the Father of our spirits. Therefore, our spirits are the offspring of God in the very same sense that our bodies are the offspring of our earthly parents. The book of Acts goes on to tell us that since we are the offspring of God, God must be some type of being which we are similar to. ‘Forasmuch then as we are the offspring of God, we ought not to think that the Godhead is like unto gold, or silver, or stone, graven by art and man’s device.’ (Acts 17:29) The doctrine of the Trinity as accepted by most Christians today is certainly based on the creeds, which are ‘man’s device.’

    “When the Bible tells us of our creation, we are told we were created in the image of God. ‘And God said, Let us make man in our image, after our likeness.’ (Genesis 1:26) If God is literally the Father of our spirits, making us offspring of Him, then we could be called gods ourselves. In fact, the Bible makes this very declaration. ‘I have said, ye are gods; and all of you are children of the most High.’ (Psalms 82:6) Jesus Christ Himself said we were gods: ‘Jesus answered them, Is it not written in your law, I said, ye are gods? If he called them gods, unto whom the word of God came, and the scripture cannot be broken.’ (John 10:34-35) Christ pointed out that Psalm 82:6 was not a mistake or a fluke, for He added the phrase ‘and the scripture cannot be broken’ right after it, stressing that it was accurate and that its meaning could not be argued away.

    “Even though we can be called gods, we are not on the same level as God the Father. We are like Him in that we have potential. In other words, being his children, we are in essence gods in embryo, not equal to Him. In order to reach that potential, there is a transformation that we must go through. We cannot go through this transformation without Jesus Christ.”


  • Rod Dickerson

    Overthink things much, you freaks?

  • Ugly Mahana

    So Jef did something moral, and likely reflected his upbringing.

    Mormons may not have the corner on choosing good, but they are not devils incarnate either.

    Seems like Jef acted like a stand up guy. Why not respect that, as suggested by the post, instead of turning his action into another chance to bash God’s children who worship differently?

  • Mike Batou

    I’m not sure it’s a specifically Mormon phraseology. I think it’s more likely a popular nineteenth-century usage that made it into the Book of Mormon and was preserved that way. “You can no more bridle passions with logic than you can justify them in the law courts. Passions are facts and not dogmas.” –Alexander Herzen

  • http://georgedyer.comj George

    Rod, Rod, Rod. I don’t think it is so much we “freaks” over thinking things, as much as it is YOU not giving any thought at all to your divine potential and possibility. That is sadly why Christ taught that “they have ears, but will not hear, and eyes, but will not see”. The scriptures are laid out before you in truth, clarity and boldness. The Spirit of God will teach you the truth of all things, but you have to WANT to know the truth, and not act like a frightened ostrich when presented with light and knowledge. Ask God, the FATHER, not your preacher, what is true, and you may be surprised at what you learn!

  • DAVE


  • DAVE

    You know I was a Mormon for 25 years, went on a mission, was sealed in the SLC temple, and lived it. I know only serve my Lord and King and Know Him now. For those who believe that we preexisted and were God’s Child before coming down to earth. Read John 1 :12-13, this completely changes that.
    John 1:12-13
    New King James Version (NKJV)
    12 But as many as received Him, to them He gave the right to become children of God, to those who believe in His name: 13 who were born, not of blood, nor of the will of the flesh, nor of the will of man, but of God.
    We only become “children of God” when we become born again. That’s what the bible teaches. Mormonism can be so easily debunct and many who are coming to Truth, Jesus, are leaving in herds. There’s a great apostacy going on greater than anyother time in their history. Christian Churches are growing out of their seams. It’s wonderful. Praise God. If anyone is interested to know the truth, let me know. God Bless.

  • DAVE

    Dude, you really need to get context and understand the real truth to those scriptures. In the Christian world, we can resolve any of those scriptures and for you to know, they aren’t the same context that Mormons believe in or should I say Joseph Smith taught you. Go to and find the real commentaries and explanations of these scriptures, you’ll be blown away. God bless.

  • Angie

    Jef tweeted he is a seminary graduate and he did quote a passage in the Book of Mormom. Here’s the exact passage from the book – Alma 38:12

    12 Use boldness, but not overbearance; and also see that ye bridle all your passions, that ye may be filled with love; see that ye refrain from idleness.

  • Angie

    Dorene, you obviously haven’t read the bible or know its origin. If you have read it … and know where it came from you would not be saying what you are saying. Just saying …. ;)

  • Ricardo

    It appears to me that as Christians go about the business of debunking that they conveniently look to new translations of the Bible. They are doing what the Nicene Christians did and that was to tweek doctrine to fit their perspective rather than reading the worlds of Christ and the Prophets and seeking personal revelation. Christianity thrives on “having an enemy”. They must look to others and criticize to justify their manipulation of GODS meaning rather than their embracing of “man’s” mortal interpretations. Christians in general seem to be very insecure as their doctrines change with the times and they continue to tweek God’s word to justify their limits on spiritual and celestial growth. Despite it all……I love them, respect them and pray for them. We are all brothers and sisters of a Divine origin with Divine purpose and destiny. We are all grateful for our Beloved Savior Jesus Christ, the Creator of Eternal Happiness.

  • DAVE

    Ricardo, that’s exactly wrong. The bible is correct. The translations don’t change the message or meanings. It’s more of the style or language. Scripture interprets scripture. This is way, you can not have one scripture stating one thing and then have another scripture stating something else. It’s all connected but you must know the word. Mormons don’t. They follow a couple of passages and than Joseph Smith interprets and puts his spin on them. This is how you are deceived. Sorry. I pray you’ll see in Christs name, Amen.

  • roger

    Wow Seminary lessons being remembered? Go seminary!

  • anne

    I think we are on the same page there. Although we believe that we have a literal and personal connection with God the Father we also believe that we must do certain things to “become ” children of God or more like our Father. We do this by entering into a covenant relationship with Jesus Christ who we then partner with as we work to overcome the flesh and become more like our Father in Heaven. This begins by being “born again,” coming unto Christ, being made new through the atonement of Jesus Christ. We become new creatures in Jesus Christ and then continue on the straight and narrow path toward our ultimate goal.. to return to our Heavenly Father. How you interpret it is very much the same as we do.

  • DAVE

    Laws and Ordinances were done away with on the Cross through Jesus. The only way we become Children of God is from the Scripture that I referred to: John 1: 12-13. You need to have a born again experience to know Him. When this happens as it did wih me, you are sealed with the Holy Spirit of Promise by your belief and faith. When this happens you are saved, meaning that you enter into His family and are adopted into Abrahams Covenant and now are adopted into the house of Israel. This only happens when He is in You. When He is in you, He guides your life. This being born of God is how you know Him. It’s not done by ordinances or laws as the Jews did, it’s done through your belief on Jesus and what He did on the cross for All Believers. Please read the bible and you’ll see that what I’m saying is truth. If you would like to have a further discussion on this please email me at In Christ. Dave

  • Pingback: Did the Bachelorette Recycle a Line from “You’ve Got Mail” to Dump Sean?()

  • Pingback: The Bachelorette: Where Proper Grammar Goes to Die()

  • Pingback: Booted Bachelorette Sean Lowe: My Faith in Christ Got Me Through Heartbreak Over Emily()

  • Pingback: Bloomberg Businessweek’s Anti-Mormon Cover: Imagine this Depiction of Your Faith?()

  • Pingback: Evangelicals for Jef: Emily Maynard and Jef Holm had “Religion Chat”()

  • Melissa Grimes

    To all those who are saying Dorene got it wrong about the Bible I here to tell you she got it right. She said

    “We DO believe that as the Bible teaches, nothing shall be added or taken away from the Bible, there is not need for another interpretation of His Word, nor another supplemental book. We also believe, as the Bible teaches, that either a TRUE prophet is 100% correct or he is not prophet at all. (ie Joseph Smith, blacks, polygamy, etc. No mention of forthcoming revelations/edicts Joe Smith, I’m pretty sure God got it right the FIRST time)”

  • Pingback: Why Doesn’t Emily Propose on The Bachelorette, Instead of the Other Way Around?()

  • Lance in TX

    So Dorene,
    What version of the Bible do you use? The Catholic Bible is what the Council of Nicea produced. If you use any other version, then you actually do believe in using a version of the Bible that was changed.. The KJV and ALL other versions other than the Catholic Bible have books removed from it, i.e. Modified.

    So, which version do you use? Do you even know the history of the Bible? The Book of Revelation was not the last book written. The statment of not adding or removing anything from the book is talking about the Book of Revelation! Not the entire Bible. The Bible was not put together until the 3rd and 4th CENTURY, Long after the authors are all dead.

  • Lance in TX

    Melissa, I think you need to learn the history of the how the Bible was put together.

    Double check the version you use vs. the version that was created by the Council of Nicea (the CATHOLIC BIBLE). You might need to re-assess your stance on your statements, or you are totally unable to understand history and what is really written in Revelation.

  • Pingback: The Religion of The Bachelorette and Reality TV: Moralistic Therapeutic Deism()