Narrative of a Newb: What the Heck Are All These Buttons For? (Part 2)

Read Narrative of a Newb Part 1
And I thought I was doing okay, tuning the three of them out, and opting to listen to the game instead. I heard an announcement “UAV INBOUND”, so I did what I assumed was the correct maneuver, pointed my weapon skyward, looking for some flying vehicle that must pose a threat to me, since the game warned me of its approach. Meanwhile, two bodies fell off the living room sofa howling in fits of hysterical laughter, while my husband had suddenly hunched in on himself, silently shaking with tears streaming down his face while he attempted to contain his laughter.

At that point, I stood up and while trying to ignore the boys pantomiming a person aiming at the sky, spinning around in circles, I began shouting “How was I supposed to know that the game announced friendly UAV’s? I didn’t even know what a UAV was prior to this little psychotic experiment. Why on earth would the game announce something to me that wasn’t a threat? What’s the point of telling some something useless? And for goodness sake, WHY ARE YOU STILL LAUGHING AT ME?”

It was then that I learned a new term. Rage Quit. That one, I won’t be forgetting any time soon. I haven’t rage quit since that day; however I did swear a solemn vow that I will not play video games in front of anyone ever again, or at least until I become more proficient at playing. Slowly but surely, I have actually gotten better, though I can’t boast any degree of competency that the game uses to determine such things. I no longer get killed or “pwnd” in the vernacular, every five seconds, nor have I blown myself up with my own explosives in recent months. Moreover, I’ve discovered that I can hold down territory exceptionally well and more often than not, achieve headshots without needing to use my scope.

Urban dictionary defines “newb” as a term used to describe an inexperienced gamer/person/etc. Unlike a noob, a newb is someone who actually wants to get better. I may still be a newb, but thankfully I’m not a noob!


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