Opening on St. Valentine’s Day and hyped as the big date movie for the night is 50 Shades of Grey, based on a series of novels that have sold some 100 million copies, the vast majority of which have been bought by women. It’s a romance novel about a woman whose handsome and rich lover ties her up, blindfolds her, and beats her.
So now we are seeing another normalization and social approval of something that used to be called, quaintly, a sexual perversion: sado-masochism. Surely eroticizing violence and brutalizing sex are going to have bad consequences, don’t you think? Isn’t sado-masochism more problematic than homosexuality?From Rebecca Florence Miller, 50 Shades of Grey Glamorizes Intimate Partner Violence:
I’m not at a loss for reasons to dislike 50 Shades of Grey. I’ve heard enough quotes and enough opinions of publishing professionals to regard its hackneyed writing with disdain. I’ve written previously that for Christian women it doesn’t make a heck of a lot of sense for us to tell husbands not to watch porn if we’re reading porn. And I’m definitely not a fan of the whole, “Yeah, he’s damaged, but I’ll fix him and live happily ever after” trope of the romance genre. It simply echoes too many forlorn themes of our popular society entirely too tellingly. . . .
According to Amy E. Bonomi, Lauren E. Altenburger, and Nicole L. Walton in the Journal of Women’s Health (TRIGGER WARNING):
- Using the Center for Disease Control and Prevention’s definitions for intimate partner violence, 50 Shades does in fact depict the physical violence, sexual violence, threats, emotional abuse, and stalking behaviors that are common to intimate partner violence.
- In the book, the main female character, Anastasia, is distraught about what she is experiencing with Christian (the main male character and practitioner of non-consenting BDSM), and frequently tries to manage his moods by giving in to behaviors that she is not comfortable with. The authors quote Anastasia: “I don’t want him to beat me. is that so unreasonable?”
- Anastasia is actually afraid of Christian Grey. But she keeps believing if she gives in enough, she will change him. This is a huge part of the pattern in intimate partner violence. “Nearly every interaction with Christian involves Anastasia feeling a sense of ‘threat’” (737).
- Christian Grey frequently gets Anastasia drunk, thereby limiting her ability to actually consent to the sex acts he proposes. Once, she awakens in bed, undressed, not knowing what has happened. (This sounds more like the Bill Cosby abuse scenario than a romance novel!)
- Anastasia increasingly only cares about what Christian Grey wants and needs. Her own needs, fears, and discomfort are marginalized and subsumed by his never-ending need for control and dominance. She believes if she joins him in the darkness, she will be able to bring him into the light. But rather than the situation growing better, it gets worse and worse. The first book ends with Anastasia being beaten with a belt.
What is the attraction to women of 50 Shades of Grey? (I’d like to hear from some women readers who are fans of the novels.) Doesn’t the popularity and hype surrounding the books and now the movie send some twisted messages to young men, who need to learn not to hurt the women in their lives?
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