Peacemaker or Pain-Avoider?

A  selection from John Frye’s book Jesus the Pastor: Leading Others in the Character and Power of Christ.

“AVOID conflict” was my middle name. I thought I was a real peacemaker—what I really was, however, was a pain-avoider.

I would often hear, “John, you don’t like confrontation, do you?” While I would smile politely on the outside and mumble something like “You’re right, that isn’t my personality,” on the inside I would knot up thinking, “No! A thousand times, no! I hate confrontation!” I wanted everybody to be at peace, to be happy. I was under the delusion of and congratulating myself for being a fine “peacemaker.”

When I sought counseling, I was skillfully led to the painful realization that my alleged peacemaking efforts were not all that commendable. The naked truth came out—I was not a peacemaker; I was a pain-avoider. By powerfully suppressing my childhood traumas, I made it my mission in life to avoid pain of any kind.

See the rest of the excerpt and a link to the book at Church Source