After I Converted, the Terrible Way Christians Treated My Non-Christian Wife

Because of pieces I’ve lately posted, such as Christian Marrying a Non-Christian? Marriage: FAIL, and Letter From an Atheist Married to a Christian, I’ve received emails asking what my marriage was like during the two years between when I, at thirty-eight, converted to Christianity, and when, two years later, my wife Catherine had her baptism into the faith.

It was fine. It was great. There wasn’t a moment of stress between Cat and me relative to my new perspective on God. She was glad I’d become a Christian, because she could see how happy it made me. She was also deeply amazed by my transformation, because I had always had a very distinct dislike of Christianity, especially insofar as believers used it as a tool to increase their sheer obnoxiousness.

As soon as I became a Christian, Cat started accompanying me to church, because … well, because she likes hanging out with me.

It was at church that our troubles began. Or, rather, hers did. It wasn’t until months into it that Cat shared with me what she had been going through at our church. In a word, my fellow believers were treating her with exactly the kind of smug, condescending, judgmental, self-righteous mean-spiritedness that, I’m sorry to say, non-Christians all too often suffer at the hands of Christians.

She didn’t tell me that that was happening to her, because she knew that I liked going to the church I’d chosen—a large, urban, mainstream, long-established church—and she didn’t want to interfere with my whole new Christian thing.

But one Sunday, after a service at the church we’d by then been attending for three months, I could see how upset she was. I asked her what was wrong—and it all poured out. She told me that people at our church had been treating her as if she were bad for me, as if she were an obstacle to my relationship with Christ. They had been very clear about the idea that I belonged to them now, and that if she wasn’t going to get on board and become a Christian, but soon, then there would be no natural place for her in my life.

She told me a lot of terrible things that a lot of the people at our church had been saying to her. They all boiled down to about the same sentiment: She had to get out of my way, not interfere with my progress as a Christian, convert ASAP. I had a new life now, they told her, and if she wanted to be part of it, fine. But if not–if she persisted in not being a Christian–then my life and hers wouldn’t be a good fit anymore.

And it wasn’t just a handful of people saying such things. It was happening across the congregation. Deacons. Board people. Ministry leaders. Lay people.

Though I hasten to add that it wasn’t everyone. Our dearest friends to this day are a couple we met at that church, people our parents’ age who continue to model for us everything that should be best about people who claim to follow God.

But there were enough people at our church saying those awful things to her—and, by then, we’d all our lives known enough Christians—for us to know that going to another church wouldn’t change what was happening at that one. Besides, we loved our church’s pastor. So we decided to stick it out there.

The things my fellow Christians said to her in that church were so appalling just remembering them makes me want to punch somebody out. Insane stuff. And they bullied her. Little groups of three or four women would sort of get her in a corner, and in low tones just start hissing at her about how wonderful it was that I had converted, and how clearly she, a nonbeliever, was bound to hinder my development as a Christian. They never, ever said anything to her like when I was around. Only when they had her alone.

Yuck. Too creepy to even think about.

But, there it is. That’s what happened. We went to that church for six years. Once Cat became a Christian, the nasty bile people had been spitting at her dried right up, and everyone was just as pleasant and loving to her as they could be.

But that’s too often how we are, isn’t it? Once someone believes what we do, we love them. But before then? God help them.

Related post o’ mine: How My Unbelieving Wife Took the News Of My Suddenly Becoming a Christian.

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About John Shore

John Shore (who, fwiw, is straight) is the author of UNFAIR: Christians and the LGBT Question, and three other great books. He is founder of Unfundamentalist Christians (on Facebook here), and executive editor of the Unfundamentalist Christians group blog.  (In total John's two blogs receive some 250,000 views per month.) John is also co-founder of The NALT Christians Project, which was written about by TIME,  The Washington Post, and others. His website is JohnShore.com. You're invited to like John's Facebook page. Don't forget to sign up for his mucho-awesome newsletter. If you shop at Amazon, help support John by entering the site through this link right here--Amazon will then send John 3-4% of the cost of anything you buy before exiting the site again.

 

  • http://mrhackman.blogspot.com mrhackman

    I think part of the problem is that as Christians we often have controverted ways of defining love. The way they acted toward your wife would have been clearly wrong in any other circumstance, but somehow we think our bad behavior is sanitized by virtue of being a Christian.

  • ME

    I find this all pretty hard to believe. I have never seen a non-believer treated like this in any church I have ever attended. I'm sorry this happened to your wife.

  • http://www.johnshore.wordpress.com John Shore

    Mr.H: You're exactly right. It's that very dynamic you've here touched upon that, in fact, inspired me to write my book, "I'm OK–You're Not: The Message We're Sending Nonbelievers, and Why We Should Stop.

    ME: But … have you really that often been privy to what people at a church say in private to a non-Christian woman who's married to a man who recently converted and is now attending that church?

  • http://emphaticasterisk.com Lindsey

    There are times I think it's amazing that anyone converts at all, and then I remember how awesome God is.

    The problem isn't God, it's other Christians. It's really kind of sad.

  • http://www.johnshore.wordpress.com John Shore

    David: Yeah, it's not just Xtians, that's for sure. (And it's what I meant to indicate by the "we" in my penutimate sentence.) But this is a particularly egregious example of ugly group-think. Cat and I had been married 17 years at that point. They showed no respect for the power of that. Cat was a guest there. For them to assume that by rejecting her they WEREN'T rejecting me is absurd. I do expect better. It was surprising.

    And I definitely beg to differ on your assertion that straight men are sure to be treated kindly at gay bars. But that's another blog post.

    Yeah, Lindsey: It's REALLY sad. You're right.

  • http://www.kellykirbyfisher.blogspot.com Kelly

    Wow, to think that your wife was behaving more like Jesus than "those Christians" were….I would have gotten my non-believing big mouth right back in their faces. :0 Just kidding…okay, not really!

    Having been on staff of a mega church for 13 years – and recently left (for many, many reasons) – nothing surprises me anymore. One of the reasons I left was that I had seen and heard some things that frankly, were mean spirited. It was frustrating. And, while I do not claim to be perfect in anyway – I am a firm believer that God wants us to meet people where they are – not judge them because of where they are in their lives.

  • Live & Learn

    I am stunned. I've never heard of such absolute and utter foolishness (other than the current arrogant stupidity from the leaders of Congress, of course).

    Those who called themselves church people should have known:

    1. Cat was exactly where she was supposed to be! She was attending services with you, and eventually God would reach her. With patience and love, her heart changed.

    2. Your marriage was to be supported by every person in that church — not torn down. The Bible is clear that a new believer continues to be committed to marriage vows, even if the other partner is not a believer. It was sinful for anyone to try to create a wedge of dissension between you two.

    The thought of such pride-filled cruelty makes me want to cry, but how beautiful that Jesus loved Cat to Himself even in such an environment. His heart will not be denied; His lovingkindness is so strong toward each one of us!

  • Candace

    I see this sort of potential frequently in (myself and) my own church family. I love them dearly, and they are good people. They (we) struggle against this tendency, most of them, but even when they (I) lose and act without love towards others, I don't think it stems (for the most part) from harmful intent. This topic (what to call it? legalism? a type of pride?) is something I've been thinking about a lot lately, and your last 3 or 4 posts have provided thought-provoking illustrations. Thanks John. I continue to adore this blog and am so grateful for your heart in tackling such topics and sharing so much of yourself while doing so.

  • http://odgie.wordpress.com odgie

    John,

    As horrifying as your account is (and sadly it's not the only one I have heard tell of or actually seen) it makes me wonder several things:

    What was your "damage control?" How did you negotiate this very difficult path of your own budding faith, your wife's not-yet-belief, and a fellowship with some destructive believers?

    How did Kat eventually come to believe, given the circumstances? [I realize that is personal and if you or she are not comfortable with the question, feel free to disregard]

    I think that most thoughtful believers have lamented over this. How do we fix it, or, failing that, how do we promote recovery?

  • http://www.mediocrity.us David Barach

    I’m pretty sure this type of behavior isn’t limited to Christians. Maybe you would expect better from people that are meant to fulfill The Great Commandment, but you shouldn’t. Any group that is trying to protect its cohesiveness will be hostile to others that are wandering in its midst. I mean, we’ve all been to high school, right?

    I’ve seen a lone conservative get tie-dyed by liberals, and a liberal field dressed by conservatives. I’ve seen Orthodox Jews gefilte a secular Jew and secular Jews gore an Orthodox Jew. Red Sox fans throw pizza at a Yankee fan, and Yankee fans will nag a Red Sox fan to the point of swearing of Dunkin’ Donuts. The only time you’ll see an outsider treated nicely is a straight man in a gay bar.

    You think I’m exaggerating, but I’m not. Okay, I may have dressed it up a bit for effect, but the principle is sound. People become part of a group, because they are comforted and validated by the like-mindedness of the other members. Groups will accept outsiders temporarily, but at some point, after enough time has passed, the group expects you to become like them or move on. If you don’t become like them, then you are invalidating everything they stand for and your continued presence is an insult. Is it so surprising that they insult you back?

  • http://www.johnshore.wordpress.com John Shore

    You know, again, with this line of comments, I'm touched, impressed, and surprised at the quality of the … I don't know … MINDS of my readers. These are wonderful, insightful, humble, kind, intelligent comments—when, frankly, I figured I'd get sort of bombed—at least a little—for daring to assert that all Christians aren't friendly and happy and Properly Representing God. You people here ARE doing that, and it's a wonder and pleasure to see. Thank you.

    Odgie: It's kind of you to ask about our/my "damage control" strategy. Of course we all know there's virtually nothing any of us can to do really effect at all people's drives to be obnoxious, destructive, and self-centered. As to what we can do PERSONALLY to mitigate the effects of such people—well, we all deal with such things according to our personal lights, yes? As to how Cat and I specifically dealt with reconciling ourself to this church—and how Cat managed to sign on with Christianity DESPITE some of the people at that church … well, that actually feels like it might make a good post, maybe?

  • Jessica

    They should have thanked God for the opportunity to have her in Church with them. They should have loved the crap out of her. It is the idea of this that makes me not want to take my non-believing husband to church with me. I don't think the men in my church would do that though. But, who knows.

  • t2dawn

    This also makes me sick. Yet unfortunitly, for centuries there have been grumbling in the desert, backbiting in the church and self-righteousness of the believer. Reminds me of the stories when Jesus came and how he delt with believers as well as unbeliever…with the same message. Love. Love is the most difficult thing to concour. Why else would He go to the extreme of dying on the cross? I have to remind myself of this often, especially when dealing with self-righteous christians (including myself).

  • http://thesearethecrazytimes-christine.blogspot.com Christine

    I have been on the receiving end of this in a large church. I was going out with a non-christian and I actually was praying he didn't convert because I was so far from God and I didn't want to go back. When he converted and we started going to church I was cornered on a regular basis and was forced to listen to how I was under the influence of demons. Someone even suggested exorcism. The reason I left the church in the first place was being shoved into my face. I did end up breaking up with him beause he changed and became as judgemental as them and I ended up hearing it everyday instead of on Sunday's. Since then God has found me in a way I understand, I don't resent and I love. I know he is real because only out of love for him did I ever EVER associate with christians again

  • Candace

    It's been said elsewhere on this blog, by those defending this (and other) insensitive, boorish, and sometimes brutal in-your-face behavior in the name of "evangelism", that even if you only convert one in six that way, it's "worth it".

    I'd be really interested to know — how many people really ARE permanently and effectively converted that way (I bet it's not many, and I bet those who are don't last long), versus the numbers who are driven off and kept off for far longer than might otherwise be (and – horrifying thought – even NEVER find the Lord when perhaps they would have, had they been exposed to Christians who actually acted more like Christ).

    Of course, it wouldn't really matter to the perpetrators, because as John illustrated in a couple of recent posts — it's not about Christ or His love for them, it's about power and conformity and control of others by whatever means necessary.

  • Candace

    Ugh … drives me crazy when I word things poorly. Were I to be given a do-over, the final paragraph (above) would read:

    Of course, even if we could provide the numbers, it wouldn’t matter to the perpetrators. As John illustrated in a couple of recent posts, for them it’s not about Christ or His love. It’s about power and conformity and control of others by whatever means necessary.

  • http://thesearethecrazytimes-christine.blogspot.com Christine

    "(and – horrifying thought – even NEVER find the Lord when perhaps they would have, had they been exposed to Christians who actually acted more like Christ)"

    Candace: I believe that even people who have been regected by Christians can find God because they don't actually find Him, He calls them!! It is by the grace of God that even though we are hypocritical, even though we drive others away, hurt them, insult them and bully them, God can and will reach those people, with or without us. I don't think it makes a difference, if God wants you he will get you

  • Candace

    :-)

    I know that you are right, Christine, because that is exactly my own story!

    I tend to worry more than I should, and not trust Him enough.

    Thanks for the reminder!

  • Army wife

    After returning from Iraq, my husband has announced to me that he doesn't believe in God. This is the opposite of what you experienced, but can you give any insight into how I can best respond to keep from being as callous as these people have been toward your wife. I understand that he has seen things that may make a person wonder where God was when these awful things were happening. I have handed this situation to God in prayer, I just wonder if there is more that I can do to help. Or should I just stay out of the way and let God do his work?

  • http://rightplaceandtime.blogspot.com/ Colleen

    Dear Sister,

    This is when it's most important to be quick to listen and slow to speak.

    Jame 1:19

    19 My dear brothers, take note of this: Everyone should be quick to listen, slow to speak and slow to become angry…

    He is no doubt hurting and anyone who tries to "fix" him spiritually or socially is going to either get an earful or a cold shoulder. The line from The Count of Monte Cristo, please forgive me, is all I can think of just now. It is the scene when after being imprisoned unjustly for several years he, Edmund Dante, meets the priest who digs his way into his cell. He tells the priest he no longer believes in God and the priest says, "That's okay He still believes in you." The friendship they develop is a perfect example of how we come along someone and give them hope. We will pray that God's presence is stronger than ever and that your husband rests in your love and acceptance, as The Great Physician does the inner healing only He can do. Keep in touch and stay strong in your faith.

  • http://thesearethecrazytimes-christine.blogspot.com Christine

    Army wife, all of us have at some time doubted that God exists, well I certainly have, and after seeing something like war it is easy to do. I agree with Colleen on this, but be careful not to continuously remind him, especially when the timing is off, as this could come across as badgering, something alot of husbands hate and wives try not to do. It is in our nature to care and to want to protect and nurture our men, but unfortunately in this it is between him and God. All you can do is love him and cherish him and we can all pray for him, and continue to receive support from others. When he sees that love and happiness do exist then he may be reminded that God is in that. War is horrible, love is healing

  • http://rightplaceandtime.blogspot.com/ Colleen

    Another hot topic… As I read the comments a story resurfaced from a book I can no longer reference. And here’s how this one goes: (However this one is actually true not just an allegory story) Let’s entitle this…”Why Christians Need to Major in the Study of Love” or “The Idiots Guide on How to Love Unconditionally.” Ahem…

    A woman was married to the town drunk. He was known for drinking to extreme and showing up with a gang of drinking buddies in the middle of the night demanding that this half asleep woman get up and make them all a big breakfast. The saintly woman would get up time and time again, make the breakfast without a word and serve her husband and the men. Finally, one of the men was sober enough after a few trips to the home to ask the obvious question missing the rest of the group. “May I ask how you are able to serve, as you do so lovingly again and again without complaint?” She responded, “I know that one day when I die there will be a place of rest and joy for me that will last an eternity.” “My husband is not going to be with me, so I am trying to give him all the heaven he will ever know.”

    The story continues that immediately that man fell under the conviction of the Holy Spirit and accepted the Lord that night as did her husband soon after. I shared that story with a zealous argumentative christian many years ago and he said it that it changed his whole approach. We must love out of a heart of compassion or we will surely fail and show what I like to refer to as “sloppy agape”. I know I have let people down over 26 years of following Christ and I try to never repeat the same mistake twice. Ganging up on someone is really a disgrace. Please give Cathy a hug for me and let her know we are so glad she heeded the call despite the obstacles. John, thanks for turning lemons into lemonade and writing a book for the rest of us. I’ll check that one out soon. Penguins, Pain and the Whole Shebang is keeper and I’m passing that one around!

  • http://www.johnshore.wordpress.com John Shore

    Army Wife: I can't offer advice, because I'm not sure of what the connection is between your husband's time in Iraq and his disavowal of God. I don't know if was a believer before he went in, what kind of action he saw, or to what degree whatever he experienced in Iraq has influenced his current attitude toward God. So … all that stuff is pertinent. If the worst case is true, and he went in a believer and was so traumatized by what he experienced there that he can no longer believe in God, then that's … a real particular dynamic. And we can into what to do then. But I don't know that's what's happening, so … won't go there.

    In general I can recommend to you, if I might, a piece I wrote a while back called "When You Love Someone Who Doesn't Love Christ." I'm pretty sure it's the single most influencial piece I've yet written on this blog; I've always gotten a lot of email about it, and know it's done a lot of people some real good. You might want to check it out, see if it helps at all.

  • http://thesearethecrazytimes-christine.blogspot.com Christine

    You have an amazing wife to stick with you and to continue to support your faith with the kind of resistance she met. I don’t know if I would be that understanding, I would have let you go and stayed in bed rather than face that. I’m sure I have said this before but you have an amazing wife and it makes me well up when I read about the love, support and pride you have in each other

  • minnowspeaks

    I have not witnessed this particular dynamic in any of the fellowships I have attended however I can certianly understand how it happens given the over all atmosphere created in most fellowships of us VS them. For the part I have ever played in even thinking along these lines I repent. The group comment is spot on LOVE and GRACE is key to anyone ever coming to Christ. It was God's purpose in sending His Son in the first place.

  • http://www.johnshore.wordpress.com John Shore

    Amen to that. And to what so many of you have said here. Wonderful stuff. Thanks for every word of it.

  • Army wife

    Thank you all for your words of wisdom; and prayers are always appreciated. I have gone back and read the previous piece, Mr. Shore, and gained valuable insight into a relationship is not mine to worry about, only mine to pray for.

  • http://odgie.wordpress.com odgie

    John,

    Sorry for the delayed reply but yes, I do think that your answers to the questions I asked would make a good post.

  • http://thesearethecrazytimes-christine.blogspot.com Christine

    Army wife, I am so pleased to hear you say that. John was right, none of us know you or your situation but God knows you and your husband better than anyone and if we pray that he will help him then that is better than any advice we can ever give. I am glad you know that it is in God’s hands, not yours. I think it has driven many people crazy trying to fix something that is not theirs to fix.

  • dinainsuburbia

    wow. That's pretty terrible. My husband and I are opposite, I recently started going back to church and my hubsand is non-Christian (well, he's secular Christian in that he "celebrates" Christmas and Easter with gifts and candy- you know how that goes).

    I don't think anyone ever gave my husband the stink eye at church. Now that we are in RCIA together (my husband is getting baptised/making communion/confirmed and I am getting confirmed) it's different I guess…

    Anyway- I cannot believe people who call themselves Christians judge others against Christianity.. exactly what you are not supposed to do!

  • http://www.johnshore.wordpress.com John Shore

    The "stinkeye." What a great word. Thanks for reading and commenting, Dina. And congratulations on your new life in/with RCIA. Sounds great.

    Odgie: Thanks for the encouragement. I'll see if I can make the piece work. Thanks again for the quality of all your comments and insights.

  • http://www.steppingintothelight.net Diane L. Harris

    That's not Christianity, it's bigotry. The people mistreating your wife would have found some other reason to mistreat someone even if they weren't Christians. This crappy behavior is the opposite of Christianity, which for one thing is about learning to love everyone.

    This discrimination is the mindset that has made even murder acceptable in the name of Christ. I wish "every knee [would] bow" to Him right now, but unless that obeisance is voluntary, there is no point to it in the eyes of God. Do these "Christians" realize that?

    Good Lord, my heart breaks every time I think of those I love who are not saved but I refuse to try and talk them into it. All I can do is present my life as a testimony and share my joy and answer why I believe what I do.

    Bullying doesn't make for a compelling Christian witness. I hope these people really are saved so they can be forgiven.

    God bless us all.

    Diane L. Harris
    http://www.steppingintothelight.net

  • http://www.johnshore.wordpress.com John Shore

    Diane: Extremely well written. Superb. Thank you.

    DANG but I've got great commenters. Really nice

  • http://www.sharpiron.org Chris

    Gosh, John, I can't believe I missed this one. It is a crying shame that this kind of stuff happens all the time..

    The situation pretty much describes my first church – very conservative, traditional and pretty much evangelical fundamentalist. Really nice and loving people but nice and loving in a rigidly intolerant way.

    But it would never have happened at our current church (or even the one we attended in between). In fact, right now I can count two agnostics, one atheist and two practicing Jews in our congregation. I asked the atheist fellow why he attended (for over 10 years now – some people just aren't so quick to make commitments) and he said that he liked the community, the fellowship, the…love that he found in the place. And thank God for the Jewish lady. She knows more about scriptures -both "Old" and "New" testaments, there context and there history than any of the rest of us.

    Funny how Jesus, when in communion with others, wasn't so driven to 'convert' people. Why is that people think that a person's journey with God only begins at the time they begin to 'get it'? God calls us throughout our lives yet how often is his voice drowned out by the constant clamoring of the 'faithful?

  • http://www.johnshore.wordpress.com John Shore

    Thanks, Kari. Really great comment.

  • Kari

    John…

    My husband drug me to church for about 4 years…(ok, not really but I wouldn’t have gone on my own) and I was pretty vocal about my “questions” and while it was a small and I would not say terribly friendly church…NO one told me I was bad for him. I did not feel cornered at all. However, the church we go to now? I could see it. (that may be completely unfair, but I did get a report from a friend that a lady took her to task for raising her arms during worship??!!)

    Shame on them.

    Although really, at the time, I probably was bad for him. I pulled him away a bit and now he questions things he didn’t before, and now he jokes that I leapfrogged and left him behind.

    Christians kept me away from Christ for a long time…but I am better now.

    I think I might share your wife’s story at biblestudy next week…I hope no one needs it, but like you say, how can I know what people are saying to the unbelievers if I am not there.

    Thanks for this blog…I think I will add it to favorites…

  • Andy

    I just found your site and have been looking around, but this post really struck me. You talk about how creepy and mean the members of that church were to your wife, but you stayed, and you stayed until she gave in. These are the behaviors that you condemn, but instead of fighting it, or finding another church, you let them win with their vile behavior. Even after your wife converted, do you really want to be part of a congregation that cares more about what you think then who you are.

    That creeps me out.

    • Andy

      I should clarify some things. I was in a similar situation as your wife. I am an Atheist married to a Christian, (however since we've known each other she's always been a Christian and I've always been an Atheist, no conversions). When we were engaged I started going to church with her, because much like your wife I just liked spending time with my fiancee, at first things seemed nice. There were a lot of conversion attempts, but I was never convinced or payed much attention.

      Then came the outright vile. I was told about how I was trying to poison my fiancee, that I wasn't one of them (I guess that was technically true), told countless times how evil I must be. My fiancee stood up for me though, and went to her pastor to try and calm things down. Well that didn't work either. He scheduled weekly meetings with me, they started out as pleasant discussions about our beliefs, moved into emotional evangelical appeals, when those didn't work he told me that he couldn't marry us and was going to tell my fiancee that she needed to leave me.

      I've been rejected a lot of times in my life, but the treatment I received at the hands of that church was absolutely ridiculous.

      To make a long story short, she left that church and found another one that accepted me. We got married in it, and have been together happily for a few years now. When all was said and done I knew I had found a great woman to marry, one who loved me unconditionally, while that church proved that they only cared if you believed the same as them.

    • http://www.johnshore.wordpress.com John Shore

      It creeps me out when people pound out criticisms to posts they clearly haven't read with any care at all. My wife KEPT from me that she was being treated as she was.

  • Andy

    I just found your site and have been looking around, but this post really struck me. You talk about how creepy and mean the members of that church were to your wife, but you stayed, and you stayed until she gave in. These are the behaviors that you condemn, but instead of fighting it, or finding another church, you let them win with their vile behavior. Even after your wife converted, do you really want to be part of a congregation that cares more about what you think then who you are.

    That creeps me out.

    • Andy

      I should clarify some things. I was in a similar situation as your wife. I am an Atheist married to a Christian, (however since we've known each other she's always been a Christian and I've always been an Atheist, no conversions). When we were engaged I started going to church with her, because much like your wife I just liked spending time with my fiancee, at first things seemed nice. There were a lot of conversion attempts, but I was never convinced or payed much attention.

      Then came the outright vile. I was told about how I was trying to poison my fiancee, that I wasn't one of them (I guess that was technically true), told countless times how evil I must be. My fiancee stood up for me though, and went to her pastor to try and calm things down. Well that didn't work either. He scheduled weekly meetings with me, they started out as pleasant discussions about our beliefs, moved into emotional evangelical appeals, when those didn't work he told me that he couldn't marry us and was going to tell my fiancee that she needed to leave me.

      I've been rejected a lot of times in my life, but the treatment I received at the hands of that church was absolutely ridiculous.

      To make a long story short, she left that church and found another one that accepted me. We got married in it, and have been together happily for a few years now. When all was said and done I knew I had found a great woman to marry, one who loved me unconditionally, while that church proved that they only cared if you believed the same as them.

    • http://www.johnshore.wordpress.com John Shore

      It creeps me out when people pound out criticisms to posts they clearly haven't read with any care at all. My wife KEPT from me that she was being treated as she was.


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