Good morning, all!
Speaking of which, what time is it? I used to know—but then the government made us go on (or is it off?) Daylight Saving Time.
Hmmm. Government. Savings.
Oh, no. It’ll probably be dark in fifteen minutes.
Anyway, hello! I’m back from my blogcation!
I shudder to think of the suffering caused you by my absence. Well, maybe not shudder. But I am vibrating like a giant, flesh-covered cell phone.
Ew. Sorry. Gross image. Unless you’re an actual human cell. Then you’re probably pretty pro-flesh.
Okay, right. I need coffee.
Back again! How are you? Well, that’s enough about you. Let’s talk now about something critical, which is you joining my Facebook fan page. If you haven’t yet given yourself a Facebook page, do so now (here)—and then, once you’re a Facebooker, join my fan page! Then I’ll ask to be friends with you! Then you’ll accept my invitation! Then we’ll be e-buds! Then I’ll start totally annoying you with my funny little jokes on your Facebook page! Then you’ll block me! Then … well … then things’ll get ugly. So let’s not go there. Yet.
(Seriously: If you haven’t yet joined Facebook, take it from me, the most resolutely anti-social person since Hermit the Crab: Facebook rocks. It’s free; it’s utterly unobtrusive; it’s a wonderful way to stay in touch with and make new friends, and it totally lets you annoy people by leaving funny jokes and comments on their page. I joined only days ago, and you can’t believe the number of people who already wish I hadn’t. It’s pretty much the greatest thing since carrier pigeons.)
And in today’s hungry world, do you think it’s right to make me waste eggs? Of course it isn’t.
If you’re a fan of my writing, won’t you please consider joining my Facebook fan club?
Do it for yourself.
Do it for the children.
(Oh! The cool thing about the fan page is it allows me to write my “fans” all at once. Then if there’s an event I’d like people to know about, or any kind of Career News, or anything I’d like to write to my peeps without having to post a whole blog thing about it, I can. Awesomeness.)