California Itchin’

I wrote my last post (A Whole New World For Me) about an hour ago, whilst sitting in a coffee shop here in the Southern California coastal town of Encinitas.

Now I am sitting at this juice place, in the nearby coastal town of Solana Beach:

juicy

I am waiting at Hippy Juice (no, wait: it’s Java Hut) for my wife to finish her hour-long appointment with her acupuncturist, whose office is two doors down. Even as I type this, Cat (wife) has foot-long needles sticking out all over her body.

Here’s what the inside of the juice place looks like:

insidej

I am sitting here (when I’m not standing in front of it taking a picture of it):

100_08051

That drink on the table is my “Spirulina Sunrise” smoothie. It contains papayas, peaches, bananas, spirulina, royal jelly, apple juice and bee pollen.

My smoothie is making me itch like a madman. It’s making my lips itch. Maybe it’s the plebeian within me revolting against the royal jelly. Isn’t normal person jelly good enough?

Man, I itch. I wonder if it’s the spirulina? What is spirulina? It sounds like the name of evil female superhero.

Holy cow I am really itching.

It’s the bee pollen!!!

Duh. I have allergies.

And yet, I can’t stop drinking this evil smoothie. I love royal jelly, apparently.

Okay, I need to stop scratching my lips so furiously. I’m pursing them real tight, by way of more efficiently scratching them, but it’s working non-wonders for my public image.

It’s like I have fleas.

Well, look at this place. I probably do, now.

Outside it’s sunny; it’s beautiful; it’s perfectly warm; the ocean is half a block away—and yet somehow all I want to do is wheeze, squirm in my seat, and furiously scratch my lips.

If I’m not having the ultimate California moment, I’ve never had one.

About John Shore

John Shore (who, fwiw, is straight) is the author of UNFAIR: Christians and the LGBT Question, and three other great books. He is founder of Unfundamentalist Christians (on Facebook here), and executive editor of the Unfundamentalist Christians group blog.  (In total John's two blogs receive some 250,000 views per month.) John is also co-founder of The NALT Christians Project, which was written about by TIME,  The Washington Post, and others. His website is JohnShore.com. You're invited to like John's Facebook page. Don't forget to sign up for his mucho-awesome newsletter. If you shop at Amazon, help support John by entering the site through this link right here--Amazon will then send John 3-4% of the cost of anything you buy before exiting the site again.

 

  • http://www.1truebeliever.wordpress.com wickle

    Ummm … yeah.

    papayas, peaches, bananas, spirulina, royal jelly, apple juice and bee pollen.

    Half of that isn't even meant for human consumption, you know.

  • http://helly.tripod.com Helly

    You sure it isn't the peaches or the bee pollen? A few years ago I developed an allergy to stone fruits– I react much like you do when consuming cherries, peaches, nectarines, plums, pears, apricots, apples (yes, even apples, albeit milder reaction there) and almonds unless they are roasted thoroughly. Recently a friend of mine pointed out that it could be due to cyanide sensitivity, it didn't even occur to me that those fruits all have cyanide-containing seeds, especially peaches!

    And I am prone to hay fever, so the bee pollen allergy (again, albeit mild) is no surprise, either. Boo :-/

  • Latoya

    Oh jeez i really hope this didnt get more serious than you made it sound here.

    • http://www.johnshore.wordpress.com John Shore

      No, I’m fine. Thanks for concern, you guys! But, as I say: I’m good.

  • FreetoBe

    John, you are allergic….do not play with that! You could spend the next hour in the ER, getting your stomach pumped and your….self shot up with antihistimines. My son tried this with seafood; he ate a bunch really quickly because he wanted to “fool my body into thinking it was good for me”. Seriously, if he hadn’t immediately vomited his guts out, he probably would have been comatose for a while.

    Anyway, enjoy your sun, your sounds, and slowly back away from the honey :)

  • http://www.myspace.com/whitenoisemetalpodcast Brian Shields

    This post explains the popularity of Twitter. This is a tweet except instead of using 140 characters, John filled a whole blog post

  • http://www.johnshore.wordpress.com John Shore

    Well, plus I have a whole narrative arc here. Plus pictures!

    Twitter. I think not!!

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