Why Won’t Non-Christians Let Us Have World Peace?

I join with many past and future Miss America wannabes in declaring that I, too, desire world peace. I would love world peace. My God Jesus Christ is called The Prince of Peace. So that proves, right there, that I’m all in for peace.

I guess the biggest thing getting in the way of world peace is religion. If everyone was the same religion, world peace could probably actually happen.

But people are definitely not the same religion. So that’s a problem.

It’s those stupid Muslims!

The problem with Muslims is that they think their God is the one true God. It’s insane. And what makes it triply insane is that no Muslim will be really happy until everyone else in the world is Muslim. It’s an important part of their faith! They’re absolutely convinced that God’s plan is for everyone in the world to become Muslim—or suffer the terrible consequences!

What can you do with maniacs like that? How is it not so obvious to them that God’s plan is for everyone in the world to become Christian—or suffer the terrible consequences! We know that’s true! It’s an important part of our faith!

Those people are just so very, very stubborn.

Well, with regards to realizing world peace—which, again, I really, really want to see happen; I almost feel like Jesus commanded all of his followers to do their darndest to help make it happen—we’ve very definitely got ourselves a conundrum here. Because the bottom line is that we Christians won’t be happy until all the Muslims in the world are Christian, and the Muslims won’t be happy until all the Christians in the world are Muslim.

And all of the people who aren’t either one of those two religions probably isn’t going to be all that keen to give up whatever religion they are, either.

Plus, there’s two different kinds of Christians. Over half of the Christians in the world are Catholic! There’s over one billion of them!

So I guess all the Miss America contestants should really come up with a less impossible goal than world peace. I guess Peace on Earth can’t possibly happen until the end of time, when all that stuff that’s supposed to happen at the End Times finally does. I guess until then death and mayhem based on religious differences will continue to be the norm.


Wouldn’t it be great to experience Peace on Earth right here during Today Times? But I guess all the Muslims, Jews, Buddhists, Hindus, atheists and whatever else are just too ignorant to ever let that happen.

You’d think God would have made it so that everyone believed in the right religion, wouldn’t you? How easy it would have been for God to have everyone naturally agree on worshiping the right version of him!

But I guess God had other ideas. I guess he wanted to give us free will, instead. I guess he wanted us to have hearts that were free and open to all the emotions of the human experience.

As for our brains? I have no idea what he thought we were going to do with those.

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  • Jill Seminaris

    LMAO!!!! I wonder if anyone will "get" the tone here isn't meant to be completely serious. I thought this was fabulously written, and actually humorous. Loved the last line about having no idea what God thought we'd do with our brains!

  • Jill: Yeah, you know how it is. Some will get it. Some really, really won't. Thanks for sharing that you do.

  • For the new year, a new John Shore with 50% more satire. It takes some getting used to, but I like it.

  • Odgie: Well, you know: I get more or less sarcastic, sometimes, depending on the relationship between what I want to say and how much I dare to say it directly. But you knew that.

    Dan: Funny!!

  • James

    Very well written, and I loved reading it! To be honest, I agree with MOST of what you say. The part I don't agree with doesn't really matter. And if Christians could understand that, we'd at least get along with each other. (Another pipe dream)

  • James: You're right. If Christians could only understand that the part of my post you disagree with doesn't matter, we'd all get along better together. (Har! I still got it! And no, it didn't come with a receipt.)

  • Is tripley really a word?


  • you may have caused me to love christian writers again.

  • Frank Frey


    Reading your posts is a hoot. You are spot on! Thanks and I really appreciate your sense of humor. Keep it up.

  • Janelle: I'm going to go with no.

    Tommy: Oh, no! NOT THAT!!! (Thank you, sincerely.)

    Frank: THANK YOU! Very kind of you.

  • Instead of "tripley", I've always liked "thrice".

    In fact, in my late teen years I joined a bowling league with my buddies. Our team name was "Spankmethrice".

    And our league was Sunday afternoons, which everybody knows is the Lord's day. Ah, the boldness of youth.

    Now in my later years I understand that you don't bowl on Sundays, you don't wear shorts to church, and you don't talk nice to people in turbans.

  • stephanie

    Loved it.

  • A couple of times a week, when my husband gets home from work, we snuggle on the couch and read your blog. Sometimes we go back and read the archives. It gives us something to talk about besides our foster kids. That's the "how was your day?" portion of couch time.

    Now it's time for a confession:

    Sometimes I read it before he gets home. I just can't help myself and I really appreciate the laugh. It's distracting me from the fact that my current three year old is now blowing spit bubbles onto my couch cushions through a straw.

    I think I need more bloggers like you in my life.

  • Monica: Holy cow! Well, I can tell you, I DEFINITELY need more readers like you and your husband. A great thanks to you both.

    All of you guys are being terrific to me. Thank you so much. I think pretty seriously about STOPPING writing this blog all of the time; readers like you guys help me stay at it.

  • Awww, where are the angry comments?? I thought for sure there'd be at least someone who would try to skewer you for this post. Or who would agree wholeheartedly, like Ric mentioned. I hope some of those stubborn people listen to you and change to be more like us awesomely awesome people.

    Monica–Right there with you. My 3 year old is currently in the kitchen, probably trying to swipe some candy.

  • I'm glad that someone else sees it!

    The only real problem is that people don't believe me when I tell them what they should do. If everyone would just do what I said, we'd have world peace.

    (Well, except for you, of course, our Most Exalted Illustrious Potentate.)

    I was on bowling teams. For three years in high school, we never even named our team. We wound up being called "Generic Team," "Generic Brand," and "The Bowlers" because the coach refused to leave us un-named and thought that such names might motivate us to come up with a real name.

    Rather, my teammates and I wore black and white stripes … Did I mention that the coach's son was on my team? Oh, well …

  • Hey, I'm all for world peace. I don't have an afterlife to look forward to, so this is the only world I'm ever going to get. I prefer it to be peaceful and quiet.

    Which is why I'm taking my garden hose out front to get all those Krishnagnostichristiamuslindujews* off my lawn.


    *patent pending

  • Your post this morning proved to me that I have no sense of humor or irony! Sometimes I find myself really frustrating. I think I get it, and assuming I do, then I liked your post. If I missed the point, then…well, shoot, this can’t be what God wanted me to do with my brain!

  • Christine

    Hold the phone…NO ONE has retorted angrily to this post….that has to be a first!!!

    Well, I would just like to say that I am very upset because how could you possibly imply that Muslims have the same goals in life as Christians? That is demeaning and….oh screw it I really can't come up with anything.

    Made me laugh but didn't want you feeling bereft that no one had got angry Johnny, so I filled the space 🙂

  • FYI, I mentioned "tripely" because I thought it was such a funny word to use, for the reasons you explained, John. In fact, it was a GAZILLION times funnier than any normal word you could have picked. Anyway, enjoyed the post as I always do, John. Blessings on your new year.

  • Yes, Janelle: I did think you asked about that word as a nod to how … well, funny it was. I should have made that more clear in my response to you. Thanks for checking in about it—and for the kind words generally.

    Wickle, Dennis, Christine; you guys are KILLING me with your Major Humor!!! Man, I keep funny company here. Thank God.

  • Christine

    Dennis: let me know when the patent comes through cos until then I am so using Krishnagnostichristiamuslindujews free of charge 😛

  • I’m thinkin’ of all the people who might be quietly reading this going, “Right ON!” Kinda scary. I should use my brain to imagine prettier things.

  • I'm a Muslim and I think you're hilarious. It may seem like today Muslims want all Christians to embrace Islam. The funny thing is that there was a time when Muslims were scared that Christians were converting to Islam too fast. Muslim rulers collected a head tax from non-Muslim residents, who in return, were excluded from military service. The sultans and emirs were worried about losing a large chunk of revenue.

  • Enjoyed this so much I would like to use it for my post today. Will linkback to ya after first couple sentences. Hope ya get lotsa hits.

  • I used the non-word “tripely” right there because I thought it funny/right to, while describing how stupid/insane OTHER people are, use a word that isn’t even a word.

  • Yeah, right? I was prepared to get FILLETED for this one. I didn’t even post it on Crosswalk.

    Hippies. All my readers are freakin hippies.

  • Funny freakin hippies.

    That's us!

  • textjunkie

    ::snort:: LMAO… Particularly the last line!! 🙂

  • Richard Lubbers

    One of the problems with the great commision is that many Christians try to take it to far. If we would do what we were instructed to do, we would be nothing more than sowers of seed. Too many Christians also try to be the angels of God at the harvest. They want to pass judgement on those who don't receive the word and believe.

    So let's tell the world that the blind see, the deaf hear, the lame walk, the dead are raised up, and the poor have the good news spoken to them. Then let's be about the Father's business of loving our neighbors. He will bring about the harvest in His time.

    I know this will infuriate some Muslims, but Jesus died for Mohammed too. This might irritate some Buddhists, but Jesus died for Siddhārtha Gautama too. And on and on . . . .

    Thing is, if people from those faiths don't want to believe in Jesus, that's between them and God. We don't need to kill them for it. Heaven forbid! Christians, take your seed bag and move on!

  • Richard Lubbers

    Oh yeah, and the brain thing. Very funny! Like Woody Allen said, "My brain? Why, it's my second favorite organ!"

    We're made in the image of God? He has to be hilarious!

  • Richard: Great comment! But with regards to your final exhortation: to WHERE are Christians to move on? And why?

  • Beautifully said, Richard. (My book "I'm OK-You're Not" is exactly about the point you've made here, about the proper relationship between … well, as I framed it, the Great Commission and the Great Commandment.)

  • Richard Lubbers

    C’mon John. You’re baiting me, right?

    We move on to new ground and leave God to bring the harvest. We can’t stay and gripe about the soil that doesn’t produce fruit.

    Any way, what I was trying to say is that we shouldn’t get caught up in the dangerous game of “convert or die” that Christians (yes, Christians) of the past have played (and you thought that only radical Muslims enjoyed this sport! – Bad Christian!).

    Speak the word. Nurture those who receive it and believe. Care for those who don’t. It’s not our job to convert. Our job is to share. And some day a person with whom you shared will lock himself in a closet and have a real “Come to Jesus” meeting. It’s happened before, and Christendom has not been the same since!

  • "We’re made in the image of God? He has to be hilarious!"

    You want proof that God has a sense of humor? Look at the platypus. I mean, if that isn't an example of comedic genius at work, I don't know what is!

  • Richard Lubbers

    I agree with you, winkle! That is hilarious!

    Thanks John. It really strokes my ego when a writer of such renown comments that MY writing is "beautifully said"! I guess if I acknowledge that I have an ego, I can't be enlightened. Yay! I'm not an ASS!

    Oops. I just gloated. Mea culpa. Pardon me while I go whip myself.

  • This post is so completely awesome. I dig.

  • Karen Holmberg-Smith

    I think that Miss America contestants come up with World Peace for their wish, because anything else they might name would seem selfish, like: abolishment of cellulite, permanently dark and well-curled eyelashes, truly delicious non-calorie chocolate.

    Oh, and doesn't tripely have something to do with cow stomachs?

  • Well. look around the blog some more, and let me know if you end up finding me followable. That'd be fun to know.

  • c cooper

    Came across your post whilst looking for a T-shirt (“I’d be nicer if you weren’t so stupid”); LOVED it, thought you might become the very first blog I follow. One problem, though: reading the comments, I get the idea you’re (ulp!) Christian? Big problem. I can’t stand Christians — they have absolutely no freakin sense of humor about themselves.

  • Christine

    no freakin sense of humour….I knew there was something wrong with me!!!!

  • andy

    wow. i don't see what's so profound about this. it does however seem that you are writing under some naive presumptions. for one, when in the history of mankind has world peace existed?…….doing the historical math, when has the known world been even close to achieving it? never, if you were actually wondering. it's not possible. it's not a solution that can be reached when human nature is in the equation. and as i mentioned, it's impossible because of a sickly human nature, regardless of religion. if there was no such thing as religion, we still would be no closer to achieving world peace.

    secondly, where is all of this evidence of christians forcibly or violently promoting their faith? stop being disingenuous everybody. are there all sorts of phony christians in the world that misrepresent god in myriad ways? of course. but i challenge anyone here to provide specific, verifiable examples of christians violently forcing their faith on others. please don't mention the spread of christianity throughout the middle ages etc. a cursory look at european history reveals that christianity and violence mixed was a product of an nasty mix of religion and secular authority. there is nothing intrinsic in biblical scripture that sanctions violence against others in the name of christ, and there is no call to deal violently with those that refuse to accept christ. any interpretation that results thusly is simply wrong. the same cannot be said of islam. despite all the efforts by non-muslim islamo-apologists to twist the insane ramblings of mohammad into some coherent message of peace and tolerance, an intellectually honest consideration of his words reveals that the basis for islamic ideology is one of violence. in other words, there is a call to violence intrinsic in islamic scripture.

    the original post here, and seemingly all of the responses appear to be perpetuating the myth that people would naturally just get along if it wasn't for the divisiveness of religion. again, lousy presumptions on two accounts.

    personally, i'll continue to live a life where i seek to please god and know his will, sharing the hope of eternal life in christ alone, when opportunities for such sharing are laid before me. i'll also happily not delude myself by repeating the mantra that there are innumerable paths to union with the one god, and that adherence to the idea that there is actually only one path is the greatest obstacle in the way of realizing sophomoric diversions such as world peace, or anything close to it. the world is full of awful people. you can live in love without setting yourself up to be a victim because of a denial of the realities of human nature.

  • Wow. So you're like one of those very rare people who can't clap to a beat—who really and truly have no sense of rhythm. Only you're like that with humor, I guess. Apparently.

  • I say this one last night I the only thing I could think of was, "andy walks with me andy talks with me …" I know, dumb comment.

  • Oh, MAN! I was going to answer, "Yeah, Ric," but I figured there was no way you'd see that!! Man. Missed chance for the mondo humor!

  • A pissed of muslim

    I have seen a lot stupid people in my life but you definitely top the list. What an idiot you are! Write a topic about peace and start by insulting anybody who don't agree with you. Are you for real?You are just a joke!

  • Calm down. Read it again. It's humor.

  • "A pissed off muslim"…. calm down, he was only being ironic… it was supposed to be funny…

  • Yeah, right? I get that a lot: people quickly scan a post, and then get all upset about what they think I said. Thanks for your defense.

  • Rufus McDufus

    Don't forget that the conquista slaughtered millions upon millions of native american indians, partly in the name of christianity. Modern Christianity is much better that that but Evil is perpetrated in the name of almost every religion (possibly with the exception of Buddhism and Jainism)

    The cardinal flaws of most religions are dogma and fanaticism. The principles of world peace require total freedom of intellectual thought and moral clarity thad are sadly inconsistent with the rigid faith based and easily corrupted doctorines of religions such as Islam, Judaism and Christianity. I believe in God, but I leave it at that: I don't let any form of doctorine in.

    Piggy back human greed, arrogance and lust for power on top of that and you get the potent mix that is the foundation of all major conflicts.

  • jay

    John Lennon once sang "Imagine no religion". How peaceful would the world be if we all figured out that religion is man-made and is one of the main causes of war, hate, intolerance and violence? If we all knew that we only had this one life and we should make the best of it for ourselves and each other? Not, "Hey if I show my devotion hard enough, I'll be sure to get into MY Version of heaven!". The idea that science flies people to the moon, religion flies people into buildings.

  • Wow jay, it only took you 9 months after this post was published to come up with a comment that doesn’t have one original thought in it. Well done!

  • Novia

    Bill Maher says it perfectly:

    “We are a nation that is unenlightened because of religion. I do believe that. I think that religion stops people from thinking. I think it justifies crazies. I think flying planes into a building was a faith-based initiative. I think religion is a neurological disorder. If you look at it logically, it’s something that was drilled into your head when you were a small child. It certainly was drilled into mine at that age. And you really can’t be responsible when you are a kid for what adults put into your head.”

    “When you look at beliefs in such things as, do you go to heaven, is there a devil, we have more in common with Turkey and Iran and Syria than we do with European nations and Canada and nations that, yes, I would consider more enlightened than us.”

    “I think the vote in Missouri [rejecting same-sex marriage] and a lot of other states is because people are religious,” Maher said. “They don’t have to be evangelical, but they’re religious. They believe in religion, which as – I think it was Jesse Ventura who had that quote about religion is a crutch for weak-minded people who need strength in numbers.”

    “When people say to me, ‘You hate America,’ I don’t hate America. I love America. I am just embarrassed that it has been taken over by people like evangelicals, by people who do not believe in science and rationality. It is the 21st century. And I will tell you, my friend. The future does not belong to the evangelicals. The future does not belong to religion.”

    And yet still, despite people being shown that they’re actually running around in public ‘buck-nekked’, they will continue to do so because they’ve forgotten (or simply don’t know) how to think for themselves.

  • A Person

    It would definitely be great if there was world peace, but some people do things that they think is right, obviously the Muslims. DARN YOU MUSLIMS for 9/11 (World Trade Center). Still I would say that some (not all) Christians are as stubborn as the Muslims thinking that their God is the correct one.

    I love Gandhi’s quote, “I like your Christ, I do not like your Christians….”

    What about the agnostics? Do you think that they should also turn to Christianity?

    People go nuts and over the extreme to do what they think they’re right. Like 9/11, the bombing, oh and the latest news of a person that says Obama was the Antichrist. Oh this world is difficult.

  • Diana A.

    Amazing how many people don’t know satire when they see it. Oh well.

  • Diana A.

    Can I watch? Kidding!

  • You’re so not.


  • “If everyone demanded peace instead of another television set, then there’d be peace.” ~ John Lennon ☮

  • John C Hoddy via Facebook

    I think us regular readers get that. Constipated readers howeverz may not.

  • Phil L Garfinkel via Facebook

    i get that it’s satire, john. however, when you have websites screaming about “boycott butterball because they sell halal turkeys,” and you’ve been told many many times by “well meaning” christians that (among the NICER things) your “jewishness is incomplete” unless you become a christian, it can rub a little raw. i get where you’re coming from and i appreciate it; i understand how some folks might take issue…

  • Honestly, if anyone is so dense they fail to understand the true nature of this piece, I … just don’t care. If I did, I could never work at all.

  • John C Hoddy, lol…..!

  • LSS

    the problem is that some people say stuff like this and MEAN it. i think there maybe should be a “satire” tag for posts like this, for first-time visitors to this blog. but only because some christians say stuff like this and have no clue that it should be funny.

    i have to say that i really saw a lot of insight about my own religiosity (as opposed to faith) when observing what irritated me about other people’s religiosity in other churches and other religions. so that aspect of this article really resonates if a person has had that experience.

  • LSS

    yeah. like that.

  • Jay L. Troyer via Facebook

    “As for our brains? I have no idea what he thought we were going to do with those.”

    While I’m laughing, i’m thinking I should be crying–but nah, I’ll stick with the laughter–thanks!

  • Diana A.

    You got me!

  • Thanks for this, John. I’m starting to get it.

  • LSS

    “I get more or less sarcastic, sometimes, depending on the relationship between what I want to say and how much I dare to say it directly.”

    i may have to steal that to explain my own sarcasm to my students.

  • Allie

    I think certain people were put on this earth to make writers cry about their chosen profession. 😉

  • While I do believe it is everyone’s responsibility to bow before the Meditorial Kingship of Christ, I am not one who believes in forced submission. I have friends from all walks of life and I truly love them. You can ask any of them who adamantly oppose my views. I do not force my beliefs on them and I respect their’s. I do believe a surface peace and living together peacefully in an amicable way is a real obtainable goal.

    The early Church won by living lovingly in the sight of their neighbors.

    By our love it says.

    We all are made in his image no matter what diety or non diety we believe in. My pressuppositions lead me to know this. Everyone is capable of love. Since we are fallen we are capable of great evil also.

    Choose you this day is a very relevant challenge. We are all accountable and will give an account on that great day. We should all live in light of that in my opinion. But then again. Opinions are like armpits. We all have a couple and they all end up stinking at some point. We should try to work diligently to be not offensive by love.

  • Diana A.

    Ya know?

  • Diana A.

    I like this.

  • Donna Runion via Facebook

    The “as for brains” bit was the perfect denouement.

  • Nick Van Heeren via Facebook

    Hang in there, no one understands my satire either. My best (worst)example was telling indigenous people here in Canada (we’re not to say “Indian”) at a protest rally “If you don’t like it, why don’t you go back to where you came from?”

  • LSS

    didn’t they actually come from Asia, though? or is there a more up-to-date theory, now? here in the US, as a spanish teacher, i talk about the indígenas of the americas and i say that it’s thought that they came from Asia … through Alaska “while Sarah Palin wasn’t looking”. some people get it.

  • Diana Avery via Facebook

    Wow, Nick. I guess that they weren’t too upset since you’re still walking around, but way to walk a thin line.