(With apologies to Jeff Foxworthy.)
You might be a dying breed of Christian if …
You think the Bible is a rulebook spelling out exactly what you need to believe and think about everything.
You think that being a Christian automatically makes you the moral superior of anyone not a Christian.
You think being gay or transgender is an offense to God.
You let your pastor tell you how to vote.
You think men alone are suited to be the head of home and church.
You think that God wants wives to submit to their husbands.
You think God is a man.
You don’t think Purity Balls are appallingly inappropriate.
You think it’s a woman’s job to make sure that men don’t lust after her.
You think divorce is a sin.
You think the earth was created six to ten thousand years ago.
You think hell is an actual location that exists in real space and time, where everyone who dies a non-Christian is sentenced by God to spend eternity burning alive.
Boy. If only this were funny.
United we stand.
I’m the author of UNFAIR: Christians and the LGBT Question: